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How do you experience attraction?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by target, Feb 26, 2017.

  1. target

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    Hey guys - I was just wondering how other people know when they're attracted to someone, either romantically or sexually? Despite being 21 I think I've only really been really into someone romantically once, but I must have been into more people than that. I'm not sure if I've really been sexually attracted, but maybe I'm missing something.

    Basically, what is it that makes you go 'I must like them'?

    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
  2. Rascal89

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    I think we can "like" people very often, but to fall in love - really in love I only think we can experince that 1-2 times in life. and about the sexually attraction well thats proberly often to, but dosent mean it can go anywhere. That is my opnion anyway :wink:

    On the more personal note. I like people pretty easy, but i do not fall in love easy - what makes me do that i dont know - my heart, the feeling i get when he/ she are near me
     
    #2 Rascal89, Feb 26, 2017
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  3. robclem21

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    Attraction is pretty raw human intuition that can be tough to describe. Like describing how you know when you are hungry or tired. You just kinda know. For me, I just that feeling of wanting to be around someone all the time. Beyond that, its just an intuition of "I really like this person"
     
  4. Winter Storm

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    I've only experienced sexual attraction a couple times in my life. Once I would say it was pretty instant, another time it grew on me, the more I was with the person the more intensely I was attracted to them. Currently married to a man, whom I'm romantically attracted to.

    It took a while to discover I was gray-ace. Sexuality has always been a but confusing. I see people as esthetically attractive, but rarely does it illicit sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is sometimes described as a heat or yearning/craving in your body. I'm not sure I'm the best to describe sexual attraction. If you imagine having sex with a person or you feel hot when looking at said person or thinking about them vs cuddling and feeling warm (warm fuzzies). At least that's kind of how it works for me.
     
  5. sapphiregirl

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    I have been attracted to many people throughout my life, romantically and sexually. When I am attracted to someone, I damn well know it! I do hope this helps you. It can take us a while to work out how we feel about certain people.

    Romantic attraction: For me, this is something that often comes upon quite quickly. I will feel very drawn to the person physically, but not necessarily in a sexual way. For example, I will feel a strong urge to be close to the person - comfort them, cuddle them, stroke them, talk deeply, listen to their worries and even kiss them. I suppose it is based upon a desire to be close to them emotionally and physically, yet not always sexually. I will often deeply care about them and think of them a lot.

    Sexual attraction: This often feels more powerful than romantic attraction. Firstly, I notice it in my body. My heart starts pounding in their presence and I'll feel very nervous. Just looking at the person will make me feel somewhat aroused. I can't help but stare at their intimate parts: lips, neck, hands, chest, crotch, butt etc. I have to tear my eyes away from their body. I will feel very hot and tingly down in my own intimate parts (turned on by imagining what it would be like to have sex with them).

    When looking into the person's eyes, I usually feel a strong, raw connection that screams "I want you". If I'm standing near them, for instance, I sense a heated, magnetic pull towards them that feels like electricity is sparking between us. I usually end up having sexual fantasies about them, hoping that one day it can be real. I have experienced sexual attraction towards strangers, and also towards people I've known for many years.
     
    #5 sapphiregirl, Feb 26, 2017
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  6. skittlz

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    Hmm.. well I notice that when I'm attracted to someone as a friend, I feel more awake when I'm around them. :icon_bigg (like a cool day outside, feels refreshing and gets the blood pumpin!) If I see an aesthetically attractive stranger I feel like I turned to cold stone cuz it looks like they got their life together, unlike me.:tears: But if I know them a bit I generally feel calm and tranquil around them. :slight_smile:( like soft lukewarm breeze) When it's someone I am romantically attracted to someone, I typically feel pressure in my chest cavity and my face, hands, and feet feel tingly (very warm):icon_redf
     
  7. target

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    Thanks for your answers guys, that was very helpful :slight_smile:
     
  8. Lexington

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    It's tough to put into words. But I guess the easiest test is that when I just like a guy - even if I find him sexually alluring - I can easily put him out of my mind. I can focus on work or driving or anything else without having stray thoughts of him entering my brain. When I feel a definite attraction for a guy, thoughts of him start becoming intrusive. Sometimes they're sexual, sometimes they're romantic, but either way, it starts becoming difficult to NOT think about him. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  9. CoconutOilLady

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    I can't just look at someone and be sexually attracted to them. I can comprehend why many people can - for some reason it just doesn't happen to me though.

    Appearance DOES factor into attraction (any women who are on the femme side,) but I have to wait for romantic attraction to grow... which I know is happening when the sound of her voice makes me feel as though I've just won the lottery. She has a particular glow that no one else has, and I watch every single slight change in her facial expression.
    Only once I am romantically attracted to someone can I be sexually attracted to them.
     
    #9 CoconutOilLady, Feb 27, 2017
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  10. Creativemind

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    I'm sexually attracted to people I am romantically attracted to. I have never had the urge to sleep with a stranger or even a friend. Never even saw them like that.

    Romantic attraction for me is feeling the infatuation symptoms of butterflies and awkardness.
     
  11. target

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    Thanks guys, that's really helpful :slight_smile: out of curiosity, how long did it take you guys to realise how you deal with these relationships?
     
  12. A Number

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    Romantic attraction for me usually presents itself in a feeling of almost pleasant giddiness and/or unpleasant nervousness when I see or hear the person, and a desire to be around them.

    Sexual attraction I'm not really sure of since I don't really experience it.
     
    #12 A Number, Mar 2, 2017
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