So I've had a huge crush on this boy for almost 2 years and ever since around September 2016 we've been suddenly getting really really close. It's kind of overwhelming. All of a sudden he's asking me to hang out as often as we can and I've met most of his family. It's gotten to the point where I've picked him up from school on more than one occasion because he wanted to hang out so badly. For most people this would be a dream, but the problem is that I'm pretty sure he's straight and though he acts differently and doesn't even mention girls around just me, when he's with other boys, he turns into the stereotypical straight boy. He doesn't know I'm gay nor that I've had feelings for him for so long, but he tells me that he loves me all the time and that I'm the best and most genuine friend he's ever had, I don't want to risk it. What can I do? I think it's gotten to the point where I value our friendship more than my feelings for him so I'm willing to keep my feelings for him hidden so that our friendship can go on unscathed.
Hello Robishere, Dang, that's rough! It must be kinda painful to be close to him but not be able to show your feelings toward him. It's most likely going to be a struggle to continue being such close friends with him, but you like his company and don't want to push him away too much... Before you guys became close, did he ever talk about girls to you and then stop because you didn't show interest? or has he never mentioned it? If he hasn't, he might* kind of like you too. Are you sure he's straight or have you asked him? Maybe there's a sly way to ask.. If you care more about your friendship with him than your feelings, that's great. If it starts to hurt bottling it up, you should put more distance between you 2 (seeing each other less) or something if you're never planning on telling him. Welp, I hope that wasn't super unhelpful but yeah good luck!
Hi Gleek99! Before we were close, he did indeed mention girls to me then stop because he noticed that I had no interest maybe twice, since then he doesn't mention them. Also, he was the one that wanted to get close, I'm a very sheltered person and it takes time for me to get close and he persistently chipped away at my shell until we became as close as we are today. Back then (before we were close) it would actually really bother him if I left without saying goodbye or if I avoided him in the mornings to avoid an awkward hello. Since I met him I've always thought he was straight but as we grew closer I started questioning it, not just because of my feelings for him, but because of how differently he acts around me compared to other guys.
Honestly, there's nothing you've said that indicates to me that your friend may be gay. Him acting differently with other guys versus with you just speaks to the close friendship you have. I have seen very close male friendships and had them as well and it is intimate without having a hint of the romantic. That is what this seems like to me, especially since he doesn't even know that you're gay (he may wonder and even think it, which may be why he realized you weren't the guy to talk to about girls, but I don't think he avoids talking about girls to you to avoid jealousy or something). Have you considered coming out to him? If you really want to maintain the friendship and lose the romantic interest you have, I would suggest starting to frame him in your mind as essentially a brother to you. A brotherly relationship is definitely more intimate than most male friends have with each other, and isn't romantic.
