So in my life i recently stumbled upon this friend. We met through a friend. We got close through smoking. on a car ride back up to college, I asked if he smoked. He said yes and was really excited about that fact and we smoked right then and there in the car. He said to me one time that he really likes the fact that I am gay cus it makes me more open. So im like ok cool this kid is pretty tight. So whatever, we spend the summer together just hanging out, no big deal. But every now and then we would get into these weird fights with each other that seem really one sided and strange to me. Like one time I was hanging out with another friend. He ended up texting me asking to go on a little trip when i got back. I didnt respond right away because i was hanging out with someone else and was busy. I later get a text saying something along these lines "well you obviously dont care about me because you didnt respond back to me" this was literally three hours since he sent the text and since the plan involved travel like obviously im going to be reluctant to respond because of the necessary planning steps. Anyways this was weird and we didnt talk for like four days after that. But then we talked again like nothing ever happened after this. A second time this happened but the reaction was worse from him saying things like, "you are not even a friend". I had it. I reamed back saying, "you are a motherfucker, who drove you around all summer?, bum ass". then after like another four days he sends me an apology text saying "sorry but ive been busy at work and took it out on you". Now we get to the next situation where after two weeks of not seeing each other, he plans to come over to my apt late at night to smoke and then the next day go on a little road trip together to a city outside of college. he asks me to get the stuff. so i go out of my way to get it for us. then it comes to the day we are supposed to hang out. he meets me outside of my apt after i got off work. I was really wet, sweaty and gross from working so when we get inside my studio apt i tell him that "i am going to get naked, and take a shower" so i strip off my clothes after getting no response from him (figured it was alright). so i go immediately to the shower. after he looked up, hes like, "oh god what are you doing" i just laugh and go into the shower. when i was in the shower he asks me where is the stuff so i say to him where it is. when i get out, hes gone with money on the table for his half. This infuriates me! after making plans with me a week in advance to hang you are just going to ditch? and for what? so i call him, he doesnt answer. i call his sister and she calls him. I get an explaination that he feels "that i was hitting on him and that im not respecting his relationship that he has." Im like you cant be fucking serious?! so since he is pissing me off not willing to talk about it. i ream him out again over text. the next day give him an apology letter dropped at his house explaining that i wasnt trying to hit on you. me getting naked and running to the shower was just pure utility after a long day at work. NO HOMO. anyways now im blocked on fb by him and he deleted me off of snapchat. Mind you, he was the one to call me their "best friend and say that im going to be his "best man at his wedding" and calling me "a diamond in the rough" and a bunch of shit like that. So you would think that i could get naked in front of my best man? also he wants to travel the world with me and shit. like what do you expect if we are in a cramped cheap ass hotel room together that you are not going to see my bear ass. think again! so because i thought we had that kind of comfortability with each other i thought it was ok to drop trough. Also if you had a problem why didnt you just say something? anyways i just cant believe that this reason is something to lose a friend over. esp a best friend. side note he also said he was going to call the cops on me if i keep showing up at his house after i gave him the note. Ive tried to forget about it but he is really dear to me and it just really sucks. anyways could use some advice or some consoling :tears:
It sounds like he has emotional issues frankly. Whether in general (as indicated by his texts) or in a form that was triggered by the shower episode isn't clear. It's also possible that he's not as open-minded about the gay thing as he was letting on or that even he thought he was. Although, (and just to be totally honest about it), if you literally made a point of saying you were going to 'get naked' that could seem a bit odd or be misinterpreted. How else would you take a shower, after all? He could have taken that statement, along with you stripping down, as some kind of come on, especially if at some level he was concerned about the possibility of you hitting on him at some point. Another possibility is that someone has been filling his head with the idea that you might hit on him and he was worried about it and then you just happened to do the shower thing right in that period. In any case, I'm not sure you can do much of anything to fix this other than giving it time for him to (hopefully) get over it and try to patch things up - at which point I think it will be time to have a serious talk with him about why he acted like he did and would think that you were hitting on him. Coming at this from another direction, given his behavior, both past and most recent, you may want to consider the possibility that it is in your best interests to not get back together with him and to simply move on. It may be that whatever issues he has are things that you are better off not being on the receiving end of. Not a fun thought, but there it is. Hope this helps, Todd
I said I was getting naked just to give him warning so that if he had any qualms he would just let me know. I also just dont see why he couldnt talk about it right then and there if he thought i was hitting on him. Instead he runs away and cancels plans made a week in advance.
