So I'm a femme lesbian and i've been with my butch gf a little over 2 years now. The other day we were driving home and we got into an argument because she picked me up from work an hour late. But what really pissed me off was she was so nonchalant when I was talking about it on the ride home. I have a horrible temper and she knows this but she kept ignoring me. So I said "keep ignoring me and I'm gonna slap the sh*t out of you. And what really set me off is she laughed at this! Anyways I got so mad I ended up smacking her while she was driving. Next thing I know she actually pulls over and hits me like 4 times. I start crying and run out the car. We've texted since then. Mostly her apologizing and saying she'll never hit me again. I know I hit her first but it really wasn't that hard. And she's so much bigger and stronger than me. I feel like she overreacted. This is the first time we've ever gotten physical. Idk what to do. I love her and i don't want to leave her but I won't stand for abuse.
I personally draw an absolute line at physical violence. Once someone crosses that, I'm done, end of discussion. Someone who has done it once will almost certainly do it again. Additionally, the fact that she wasn't interested in owning her role in the argument (being late picking you up), and then ignoring and laughing at you... this isn't someone who has a deep level of respect; those sorts of behaviors are rooted in deep insecurity, and manifest toward you as contempt. You deserve better.
What you did was dangerous for her as the driver even if the slap wasn't hard. Physical attacks are never the right answer, and I would suggest you need to work on yourself first: how to manage your temper and avoid escalating arguments so there is no violence in the first place. As for your girlfriend, maybe she has her own issues that cause her to respond so strongly, and again her attacks were not justified.
