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How would you handle an ex girlfriend dating one of your guy coworkers?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lost101, Mar 9, 2017.

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  1. lost101

    lost101
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Newark, NJ
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So I dated this girl at work we started off as just friends I'm a bisexual female and I thought she was straight so I tried introducing her to one of my guy friends her and I then became closer she had no interest in my guy friend like that and we ended up spending New Years together it was a lot of fun and we ended up being intimate we had plans that week to hang out again when she said she didn't want to hang out outside of work anymore I asked her why and she said because she was moving out of state soon the next day she started hanging out with one of our guy coworkers and now they are dating and she's supposedly staying this hurts me because I felt she cut me off so there would be no drama between me and him I'm not really sure what their relationship is really but I know she wants to keep it secret she also tried getting me in trouble with my boss saying she felt threatened by me and didn't want me talking to her again so she brought it into work made a big deal and we haven't talked in two months but it still hurts me that we went from being fun happy coworkers to now awkwardness and this relationship with our male coworker that's being thrown in my face every day because we all got along as coworkers and now I'm not invited to coworker events when she is because she had to start all this what would you think of a girl you work with doing this? And how would you handle it? A part of me feels inadequate and used another part of me wishes I could fix it so we can all go back to being amicable coworkers any advice would be appreciated
     
    #1 lost101, Mar 9, 2017
  2. Shorthaul

    Shorthaul
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I will start off with a warning that the advice I am going to give you is more than likely not the advice you want to hear.

    Honestly, you have every right to feel hurt. Because what she has done is pretty damn terrible; she lied about moving, and threw you under the bus at work. Bringing it to work is absolutely the most selfish and childish thing she could do. It is unprofessional on so many levels and depending on how your boss handled it; it could have cost you your job.

    Cry over a lost friendship and move on. You deserve better friends, whom you can trust. Because there is no reason for you to trust these two again.

    Also talk to your boss about it. But UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, talk ill about them or your after hours relations. Keep it about you and only you. Explain that you are unsure why she felt that way and that you want to avoid causing any problems with anyone. Show them you are professional and are upset about causing any problems.

    Its not right that you have to do it, but depending on how detailed your employer keeps notes in employee files, you want to keep them clean for future job applications.
     
    #2 Shorthaul, Mar 9, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2017
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