I'm 18 now, finished schools and I'm out as a lesbian. It's been nearly a year since I came out, I've had a girlfriend in the time (she was crazy) and then had another failed relationship. During my process of realising I was gay there was one specific person or time in my life that reassured me. I was about 10/11 years old (so grade 5) and I had this best friend. We did everything together, we loved all the same things and were inseprable. I remember always being jealous of anyone else speaking to her or her having other friends (makes sense now clearly). One day we admitted we liked eachother, I don't remember how or the way we way said as we were young. This led to us sneaking into the school bathroom cubicles and kissing eachother. I remember at first we were so shy so we kissed each others cheeks then went to the lips. As time went on we would undress and kiss. I remember we even said 'we might as well be each others girlfriends'. Our friendship ended in grade 6. She moved schools, we never spoke. It's been nearly 8 years now... she seems straight as ever (appearance wise) and also we know a lot of the same people (grown up in same area). I've always wanted to message her but I'm scared shirtless. This is my problem, I fear rejection and I hate being the one who initiates things as I'm more submissive. Strangely she is very feminine and I am really attracted to her still even though normally go for more masculine woman. ALSO everyone I'm sure has Facebook, now on Facebook messenger there is a section that says 'favourites' and it normally consists of close friends, but I've realised the people there are people I don't communicate with and I'm starting to wonder whether this favourites section is people who stalk you. She ended up being in my favourites section randomly the other day which made me think of her. Do I message her? I'm unsure if she even likes girls but I mean... that's unlikely right! Or I could follow her on Instagram, see if she follows back? I'm just unsure of what to do.... And she would know I'm gay as I came out on Facebook and the post received a lot of likes and comments etc. IM JUST AN AWKWARD FUCK someone help me
You could first start by just reconnecting as a friend, and since you're close in age, you have multiple subjects relevant to both of you. Or, you could just talk about a shared memory from the time you were together. To bring up your sexuality, you could talk about your failed relationships and see if she will take the bait and discuss her own experience. Just put some things out there, and hopefully she will respond. I personally have been surprised to come out to two guys I knew as just classmates (different classes) from college, and I learned that they were also gay. One of them was married with kids, and when I contacted him he admitted he was divorced and was actually bi, followed by coming out as gay some months later. That was very interesting. As for the Facebook thing, even though I'm not out to everyone, it seems to bring up people who may be gay, too. I haven't noticed the favorites on messenger much, but I have seen that happen on the friend suggestions, where I see guys with one or even no mutual friends who happen to be gay.
