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Confusion on my relationship with a friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by chinacat, Mar 12, 2017.

  1. chinacat

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    Hi, I just created an account on empty closets because I have been stressing so much over something, and have no one to go to about it (because I am closeted)

    So a while back, some guy added me on snapchat and started snap chatting me. I didn't know who he was, but he was kind of cute. I later found out that he goes to my school, is a year above me, and is friends with a lot of my friends. We kept talking and soon enough became friends.

    He would ask me things like if I was gay, and I would tell him maybe, and he would say "me too". I had a feeling that he was kind of into me, and as a result, I started to develop feelings for him too. He always comes to my locker and we talk, and he eats lunch in my class so we can talk more. He's super touchy and stuff.

    Well he asked me to hang out yesterday, and I was very excited about this. He said to come over to his house because no one was home. Obviously this sent off flags in my mind. "This is my chance" I thought. I get to his house and we're making some small talk. He then starts telling me stories of girls he's hooked up with and girls he liked and stuff like that. I was really confused because I had assumed he was gay. And so I asked him straight up, "what's your sexuality?". He told me he was straight. This upset me a lot, but I still didn't lose hope.

    We ended up watching a movie. We were sitting on two different beds. I asked him to sit with me and he said "just don't fuck me". We were watching the movie, sitting a couple of inches apart. I slowly crept my hand towards his thigh and soon enough, I am touching his thigh. He doesn't move back or anything. I scooted myself closer to him and at this point l, we are lying with our shoulders touching.

    I was trying to plan out my next move but then he says "hey this is getting kind of intense and weird with you so close to me." He paused and I was getting scared that he was going to tell me to leave. But then he continued, "remember how earlier I said I was straight? Well I lied, I'm actually a little bicurious." And he leaned over and kissed me.

    I awkwardly sat there not knowing what to do. He then told me he thought this was really weird and to not tell anyone. I agreed and he kissed me again. We then awkwardly shifted around for a while trying to cuddle and he ended up having his arm over me and my head on his chest. We stayed in that position for the remainder of the movie. I was kind of hoping that we would make out or something, but didn't know how to initiate the act/reciprocate it.

    When the movie ended, he told me his mom was coming home and that he would walk me halfway to my house. As we were walking, we kept talking as if nothing ever happened. He continued to tell me stories of girls he has hooked up with and past relationships. This was so confusing to me and I asked him why he kissed me then. He told me it was because he was curious and wanted to try something new and experiment.

    I don't want to be someone's experiment, but at the same time, would love to experiment with him. I'm confused as to what our relationship is. Does he like me? I sure as hell like him. Does he want to continue this? Or did he kiss me just because and now we're gonna go back to being friends? Does he want to do something more than kissing? I'm stressing so much over what I'm going to say to him at school on Monday. I want us to develop something but I'm scared that the feeing is one sided. I just really want some advice on what to do and what to make of this.

    Thanks!
     
  2. resu

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    I think he is more than curious but must be experiencing a lot of pressure to conform to a straight persona (boasting about girls, etc.). First, you need to accept the fact he is very fickle and may try to completely ignore you. He would not have invited and kissed you if he didn't like you, but you should set boundaries rather than letting him control everything. Try talking to him in private and asking what he wants from you, and tell what you want from him. You could even say you don't like it when he talks about the girls he's been with. He may try to be stubborn, but that's his choice. At least you are being honest. Eventually, you will meet guys who are not afraid to be open, which will feel much more natural.
     
  3. chinacat

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    Thanks for the advice! I really want to talk to him about it, but I don't know how to approach the subject. I'm such an awkward person I don't know how to talk to him about this without it seeming weird because I feel like if I ask him about what our relationship is, he'll think that I'm under the impression that we are dating or something idk.
     
    #3 chinacat, Mar 12, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2017