I'm conflicted. Move on or try to get him back?

Okay so, my boyfriend broke up with me on March 1st. It really didn't seem like he wanted to break up, but at the time we both agreed it was for the best. I know I posted about this almost two weeks ago, but now that I've had a chance to clear my mind a little bit, I wanted to start a new thread.

I felt he was becoming emotionally distant from me (I've come to realize he's a very stoic person). He was very very emotionally connected with me towards the start, and he showed a ton of compassion. But, things started slowing down. He had to cancel dates on me many times because there's a lot going on in his life. He stopped texting me as much and his texts became less cutsie. It got to the point where my friends got involved and wanted to talk to him in person without my knowledge. He lives about a 50 minute drive away, so he knows for a fact I was talking about our relationship with my friends without his knowledge (I needed advice because I was really worried a lot about this).

He didn't want to break up over text. He wanted to call and tell me. He said he was also fighting through tears. He said I deserve better, he's not in a good place, he never wanted to hurt me. He also said we can still be friends. Things can be just like before except we're not dating. He "owes me dinners" because I spent a lot of money on our relationship (that is true, I did pitch in more money than he did). He said in the end it was never my fault.

I met with him last Sunday because I came to see him perform in a musical (I was planning on seeing him for a long time, so this wasn't a new plan). He seemed incredibly sad. I waited outside the stage after it ended to congratulate him. He did hug me, and he was also pretty quiet. He said he'll see me later, but I feel like he did try to cut the conversation short. My friend was there with me watching the musical (one of the friends that contacted him). There was a gay make-out scene in the musical and she said he definitely did not want to do it. She also said he was looking at me a few times when he got the chance.

We're still keeping our Snapchat streak, but we aren't talking. Just the normal streaks he sends to everyone. We're basically at 7 days no contact right now.

I don't regret dating him. Things were incredible the first 1-2 months. We were very compatible, and he definitely is a nice guy who I do think genuinely cared about me.


Now... I decided to follow one of my friend's advice and download that dating app. Yea, the one that starts with "T". That's the same app I met him on. After scrolling, I DID see him on there. I swiped right because why not, but I do remember him saying he deleted it after we started dating so he must have redownloaded the app recently. I made it clear in my bio that I just broke up with someone and wasn't looking to start dating yet. With the reason we broke up, I don't see why he's on that app again. I'm honestly thinking he regrets breaking up and is trying to "fill the void", because knowing him, he's not on there for sex.

I've done so much thinking about this, but I'm still conflicted. I've learned to be more patient, stop obsessing so much over the small things, and to have more trust in him. On the other hand, would he be able to put in the effort for a relationship? Especially after breaking up? He really is a great guy. He was very very excited to introduce me to his friends when we started dating. He's been very nice to me. We just clicked. But... I mean... I really am the kind of guy who seeks emotional connection in a relationship. I had that with him, but it just felt like it was going away.



I'm at that point where my mind is clearing and I can think things through more rationally. Even though he said it's not my fault, I know I definitely had something to do with the break up. I put too much pressure on him and didn't trust him enough. Whether or not we get back together, I will for a fact break no contact at some point, maybe in a week or two? I just don't know if I should open the doors for reconciliation or just focus on being friends with him.

 

I'm planning on breaking no contact later this week. May be a bit soon but I really do feel we like we can work something out. I do have the feeling he misses me a lot, but I don't think be wants to make the first move in actually connecting.

I won't start off by saying we should get back together. I'll mostly just check up and see how things are going. Then I'll ask if it's okay to meet up sometime in the upcoming days.

It's really his call here whether or not he wants to get back together. I'm open to another chance, and I feel like he is too. But I just don't know if he feels like it's for the best or not.

 

He is a very very busy guy. He did become more and more quiet towards the end of the relationship, but I could still tell that he genuinely cared about me and all that. During the relationship, I did feel distanced from him. But I had a hard time discerning whether or not he was taking me for granted or if he was genuinely too busy to have conversation with me. Again, he is a stoic person, so I wouldn't be surprised if he loved me dearly but just didn't feel like talking to me a lot.

The only contact I get from him is really just the Snapchat streaks he sends to everyone (one good morning and one good night). So at the very least, I can see he doesn't want to block me out. He just needs space is all I can tell from this, which is what I am giving him.