Does anyone else feel like they're just constantly lying to everyone and if so how do you deal with that? I don't know if I feel guilty exactly because I know I'm in a situation where coming out wouldn't be a good idea but I struggle with the feeling that all I do is lie - both by omission, by letting people around me assume I'm straight, and sometimes outright - lying about who I hang out with, who I'm interested in, how I feel, how I see the world...everything. It gets to be a lot sometimes. Does anyone else worry about this? Either the cliche of being caught in a web of lies, or that weird unsettling feeling that you're surrounded by people who think they know and love you you, but they actually only know a fictional version of you that you've completely fabricated? This is kind of dramatic haha but seriously it's exhausting. My whole life is a lie!!!
I'm so glad I saw this, I feel exactly the same!! I think its just a natural human instinct to want to fit in with the crowd, and if the crowd like guys then thats the side you present to the world to "fit in". It wasnt until a few weeks ago when a uni friend told me she was bisexual and seeing a woman that I reaslised just how much I was suppressing this side of myself. It occurred to me that no one at uni (bar one person who had guessed quite early on) knew that I also liked women and for the first time in a long long time I felt anxious and it seemed like I was lying. My uni friends had only ever known me to be with a man, my current boyfriend whom I've been with for the past three years. So my anxiety mostly stemmed from the fact that I thought they wouldn't believe me when I said I liked women!! I also had a mini crisis when I thought my god can I still be bisexual and see my boyfirend (which all seems crazy now becuase the answer is obviously yes!) The way I coped with it was by watching youtube videos by other bisexual people, speaking about their own experiences of being bisexual. I mainly watched rose and rosie and melanie murphy. Listening to them just put me at ease and made me realize I'm not crazy. It turned out that my friends were completely fine with it all and all the concerns and fears were just in my head. My advice is wait until a point where you feel comfortable speaking about it, because if you are completely fine with it then chances are the people around you will also be fine with it.
