So, I have this best friend I've known for three years. The first year we were friends, while I was a best friend with another girl who I ended up falling in love with. Our friendship ended badly, because I had to break it off before I started liking her, and I had a really bad and confusing experience liking a girl for the first time. Two years later, I have realized I'm bi, and came out to person I've known for three years , who is now my best friend. I have never really thought she is attractive before, but lately she has been looking pretty good. I find myself laughing around her, and flirting with her. She has no idea, but I think I might be liking her. It just feels natural and happy like the other girl I liked. I really don't want to like her, because it would confuse things too much. Any advice? Thanks, K
It sounds like you may have a crush. Can't really offer much words of wisdom, but does your friend also like girls in that way? If not, the only way to get over a crush is to find someone who can reciprocate your feelings.
Bigurl, it's good that you are looking ahead. It is a very common story on EC to hear about crushes on "straight" friends. (Who might bend just once... but then there's a lot of breakup drama.) And you don't want to repeat the experience with the earlier girl, that must have been tough for both of you. If you are already out to this friend, then saying "she has no idea" is probably wrong. She has an idea and she's either 1) playing along because she likes you (lower-case l) but expects that there is a border you won't cross or 2) wondering if something might happen. To tell you the truth, the best medicine is the hardest to take: saying stuff out loud. "You know I'm bi, does it worry you that I might get feelings for you?" "I'm starting to like you romantically. Is that bad?" "Do you think we could date?" I recommend coming right out with it..telling yourself "I'll wait until it comes up naturally in the conversation" is just procrastination. So there. I actually told someone what to do on this forum. I usually shy away... kinda like in real life. Because of the possible consequences. So of course you have to use your own judgement to decide if I am worth listening to!
See, the thing is, if telling her makes things weird between you two, let's face it, things were going to be weird for you anyway. Just tell her. I completely agree with the above poster. You will stress about this if you don't (I know from experience) and if you can't bring yourself to talk about it face to face, text her. I know I will get a lot of flack for saying that, but it helps get things out in the open. (Once again, speaking from experience) Granted, you can't really read her emotions through a text (unless she explicitly states them) but it opens the opportunity to talk about it face to face later.
