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i might be bi curious: I really like this girl and have no clue what to do

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by A unicorn, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. A unicorn

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    I am a probably straight or bi curious girl and I have a crush on a girl these last few months. We are in the same dance class.i started liking her before Christmas(I know her since last year though) To me she is beautiful smart and so unique!! We weren't talking that much during or after class cause she already has her own friends there but I started being very kind to her, more supportive,talking to her more,asking her opinion,she started paying more attention to me started staying more in the dressing room with me after class(after her friends left)talking about whatever irrelevant thing or about class.when we are alone she lately sometimes suddenly tries to sound cute to me or as if she is seeking for protection the same way that I would supposedly try to sound cute to a boy I liked.although as a person she is mostly sarcastic.since last month that we started wearing pointe shoes in the middle of the class I Noticed that we were the only ones that had left them in the dressing room.those shoes take some minutes to put on.Since then I never took them from the beginning of the class with me so that I'd have to go in the dressing room to wear them so that I could have the chance to spend some time with her alone being able to talk to her.noone else leaves their pointes there except from us now.I started to believe that as I do that on purpose she could be doing it on purpose too, because really it makes no sense for anyone to leave them there while knowing that we are going to use them every time in the middle of the class . Every minute I can get to spent some time talking with her makes me so happy.last week she started telling me sth during class and just by looking for 2secs in her eyes I started melting inside and tried to look elsewhere so that no one would notice how I felt.I don't know how and if I should do anything else to understand whether she feels anything about me! I don't have a clue on how to approach her more without freaking her out in case she is not interested.(she isn't even on social media only Viber).Help! I have zero experience with girls I have liked less than five in my whole life and nothing ever happened not even flirting. I have only experience with guys in serious and non serious relationships I constantly liked a guy except those 5 times. I don't know if I am bi or just curious cause of the lack of this experience but I know what I feel now and these feelings are romantic. I like her so much and don't know where all this is going..
     
  2. beenthrdonetht

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    That's pretty telling. And you said it yourself a few sentences later: these feelings are romantic. Woo-hoo! We should all be celebrating.

    OK, I'm not trying to tease or dis you, but it's good that you know yourself this well. The question: who will this happen with in the future? we just can't answer. We can just try to manage the present... as it moves along.

    She may be having the same questioning, because it sounds def like something has clicked with you. You have some experience with boys so you know what the first steps of dating are. You better do something before you completely melt! :slight_smile: Put yourself in her shoes and try to think of what she's experiencing. And then: ask her about it. Yeah, it's the hardest thing in the world to do, instead of waiting for something to happen.
     
  3. Moonsparkle

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    So you definitely have a crush on this girl! I think there is at least a bit of evidence she may have some feelings for you too...at least I know I would never repeatedly keep leaving my shoes in a place where someone else does(the only other person!) that would cause us to have to spend some time together ----if I didn't at least like them a bit. I would just keep the shoes with me or whatever.

    Anyway, who really knows what she is thinking. You mention she has her own group of friends at dance class. Even if she is having feelings she may be confused by them, may not want the friend group to catch on.

    I would say at this point a good step would be to friend her on social media. After all this doesn't seem weird at all, you are already friends from class. From there you can message her something short, maybe a funny thing from class that day and see where the conversation goes. People who know each other friending each other is just a pretty normal thing to do-no matter what her feelings might be. Plus it opens the chance to you two having some out of dance class conversation!

    Good Luck to you! :slight_smile:
     
  4. A unicorn

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    Thank you both for giving me your advice. I know that i wouldn't easily make my feelings clear verbally for now. Because the only place we talk to each other is the dance school and it would be so awkward if smn overheard us. As for the social media I am friend with all her friends from the dance class but she is not a user in any of those platforms. I don't know why, I haven't asked.
    From the moment I started getting signs that she could also be even a little interested in me I realized that the more we keep talking every time the closer we become in comparison to some weeks or months ago. Even these last 2 days things came that way that she even opened up about Sth that had affected her confidence lately. She had been crying about it after class :icon_sad:but her friends left almost immediately and we were left alone I asked her about it and she told me why she felt that way.we didn't say much about it though but she was still in tears so that's normal. I kinda didn't want to leave right after her friends cause I didn't wanna leave her alone crying cause I wanted to show her that i cared about how she felt.
    Like I told you before there's nothing too bold that I would think of doing right now. i just don't know how to make it a little more obvious to her only (without anyone else noticing) that I'm having romantic feelings for her.
     
  5. Really

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    Are there any dance performances happening or dance movies on Netflix you could invite her to watch with you? Just say you'd like to see it yourself and wondered if she'd like to join you. I think just spending more time with her will help clarify things. On both your sides.

    If you get the feeling things are going well, see if she wants to try some of the dance moves you've just watched. You'll get to hold her hand then, right? :wink:
     
  6. A unicorn

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    We are not that close to just invite her randomly to sth like this. I have to come up with some excuse to either chat with her on viber or go somewhere with her..for example one of my other dance mates wants to go to buy some dance wear from the same shop that I will go. If that person was my crush I would definitely invite her to go together!!! But she already has the stuff that I'm gonna have to buy so i couldn't have such a chance. If sth similar came up with my crush it would be such a perfect chance for me to invite her. It has to be sth that new friends do too. Not sth very obvious.. even when I was really good friends (only friends)with a dance mate from my previous dance school it took us a year to go anywhere together and we were like even wanting to form a band haha. Now that I'm not yet that close to that person and that I don't have an intention to be just her friend what would be my excuse to take it further? How do I message her specifically about sth and not message the whole group chat of my dance class. What do I say?? :confused::icon_redf
     
  7. IrishBuddha6

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    Hmmm yeah that's rough, it seems like trying to find a way to spend time with her is key, but at the same time you seem very frightened about the possibility of her sensing your intention. Totally get where you're coming from, been there completely. It a tough one and I was introverted so that didn't help me haha. I think an idea might be asking her for some help then, it's almost like asking for help on something as innocent as like homework. I mean don't be super obvious about it and of course I'm sure you're a great dancer. I don't know too much about dancing but perhaps one day after class or when you're changing shoes you can be like ohhh, yeah I've really been struggling with this move but see that you do it pretty well, and I mean it can eventually move from tips/advice to spending some time outside of class. Omg you should practice together outside of class, I mean isn't practice outside of class required anyway, maybe that's another excuse, practice together to help each other out. In terms of finding out about sexuality, for me I always did it by talking about celebrity crushes or something, just sorta really really casually bringing it up, again not too obvious. However, you have to decide how revealing you would want to be about your sexuality. lol, this is just so awesome, I'm really rooting for you here!
     
  8. A unicorn

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    Omg your comment really cheered me up :slight_smile: you really made things clear thanx so much :slight_smile:
     
  9. A unicorn

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    I wanted to give you an update about some facts cause I'm really so new to these and I like this girl so much that I even want to tell my friends about her though they know nothing about me feeling that I am bi!!!!
    I have recently heard about the importance of the belly button in body language!! I realized that in the majority of the time her belly button is facing me and this week it happened more than twice while she was speaking to a group of people she was standing right in front of me facing me a little too close looking right into my eyes. I can't even explain how happy and embarrassed I was by this. She also generally tries to make eye contact with me specifically but our looks are not too telling because we are rarely left alone.
    I also heard about that careless touches are saying sth.. and we get those a lot.. but even if this is a coincidence let me tell you what happened today...!we were learning some new choreography steps. And at a break she started talking to me about hers and said how am I gonna do this it's so hard to stay like that, look and she did a hard pose inches away from me facing me l, kinda thought she lost her balance and gave me her hand ( omg :slight_smile:)to hold her still and she repeatedly was saying how this is going to be a hard step for her while I was saying she is doing it just fine and she is going to get used to it in no time.. her close friends were all around us but she wanted to show this to me and I'm not even the most talented or experienced in dance class.
    Everyday I am thinking about starting a conversation with her through messages but I still haven't got an excuse for the first message.
    How would you interpret these moves? And how would you start talking to her through messages without being extremely open about your intentions from the beginning??? She seems very interested in me but because of my lack of experience with girls I can't tell if this is romantic.. I think it is but how could I be more sure??:help:
     
    #9 A unicorn, Mar 24, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2017