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Family, Friends, and Relationships Support and advice for any problems with relationships with family members, friends, partners etc.

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Old 19th Mar 2017, 08:51 PM   #1
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Gender: genderfluid (but I typically use female pronouns)
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Is it clear to this person I want to date them?

Hello, I have been talking to and snapchatting this super cool, super cute DFAB nonbinary asexual person for about 2 weeks and I really like them. We met on a dating app and then I gave them my number and I asked them if they wanted to go out and get coffee next weekend and they said yes! Only thing is, I am wondering is this a date? It was certainly intended to be when I suggested it, but I didn't explicitly say, "do you want to go on a date with me" so now I'm not sure. People go and get coffee with their friends all the time, so it is not exclusively a date activity, but I thought it would be a good environment to get to know each other and talk. I am pretty sure this would be a date since we did meet on a dating app after all and their profile did say they were single.

Honestly I feel stupid asking for advice on this at all because I know that all I need to do is ask, but I am just afraid of being wrong and it being awkward. I don't want to show up expecting more of a date atmosphere if they are expecting a "just friends situation".

When they text me they sometimes mention that I am cute, along with that blushing, smiley face emoji, and I have flirted with them as well. We both admitted to each other that we are bad at flirting and not at all suave, which I guess should convince me that they do like me like that, but for some reason I just can't shake this fear.

How can I get across specifically that I want to go on a date without it being too heavy-handed? I don't want to mess this up by making it seem too serious/intense. I don't want to ask it they "want to date" me, just if they want to "go on a date" with me. Though to be clear, I do want to date them.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I read so much into things? These questions are rhetorical but I wish I knew.
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Old 20th Mar 2017, 06:14 PM   #2
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Re: Is it clear to this person I want to date them?

First of all, there's nothing wrong with you for worrying about what other people's intentions are. Practically the entire human race does this.

Personally, it seems pretty likely they think it's a date since you met on a dating website. However, if you have the confidence, you could ask them. You could make it super casual like before you go have coffee with them, you could say something like this is a date, right? Because I don't want any misunderstandings. Or something like that.

I hope having coffee with them goes well!
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Old 21st Mar 2017, 09:58 PM   #3
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Re: Is it clear to this person I want to date them?

Thanks! When we actually finalized our plans for this weekend, they flat out called it a date so problem solved I suppose! I need to remember to not get in my own head too much, but I guess it's always easier said than done. Can't wait till this weekend!
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Old 22nd Mar 2017, 12:00 AM   #4
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Re: Is it clear to this person I want to date them?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CatsAreCool View Post
Thanks! When we actually finalized our plans for this weekend, they flat out called it a date so problem solved I suppose! I need to remember to not get in my own head too much, but I guess it's always easier said than done. Can't wait till this weekend!

Just wanted to say....

Have Fun!
Yelozbhsbjaj729 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd Mar 2017, 04:39 AM   #5
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Re: Is it clear to this person I want to date them?

Enjoy!!
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