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Old 20th Mar 2017, 02:38 PM   #1
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Dating age?

I'm 21, I got a message on okc from a 30 year old and we've been talking. I would think that 30 is my max age for dating; anything above that is kinda weird to me. One time I got a date with a 33 year old and my parents didn't like so I cut it off. As a bear, I feel like it's harder to find someone closer to my age.

tl;dr version. What is your preferred age gap for a serious relationship?
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Old 20th Mar 2017, 02:47 PM   #2
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Re: Dating age?

I'm 18 and if I got a message from someone older than 21 I would probably scream
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Old 20th Mar 2017, 03:01 PM   #3
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Re: Dating age?

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Originally Posted by dvxqnc View Post
I'm 18 and if I got a message from someone older than 21 I would probably scream
If you're a twink it's kinda easy to get another person your age I feel. Usually Bears are older. The gay community is tribal af tbh which I hate about the community as a whole.
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Old 20th Mar 2017, 04:22 PM   #4
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Re: Dating age?

The older you get the bigger the gap can get, in my opinion. Like as teenagers a couple years gap is a pretty big difference, but when you're 30 or 40, 50, 60 something 5-10 years starts becoming a lot less of a difference.

I don't have much experience with the bear community, but I'm sure there are people your age out there... just a matter of them realizing it maybe?
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Old 20th Mar 2017, 04:25 PM   #5
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Re: Dating age?

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The older you get the bigger the gap can get, in my opinion. Like as teenagers a couple years gap is a pretty big difference, but when you're 30 or 40, 50, 60 something 5-10 years starts becoming a lot less of a difference.

I don't have much experience with the bear community, but I'm sure there are people your age out there... just a matter of them realizing it maybe?
Yeah there are more younger bears, cubs I should say lol (which I kinda wanna stay within the bear community tbh). I don't expect this relationship (if it happens) to last that long because I never really dated before.
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Old 20th Mar 2017, 06:18 PM   #6
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Re: Dating age?

9 years when the younger person is 21 is a lot. Probably going to be problems there due to differences in power dynamics (money, experience, etc.) The 30 year old going after a 21 year old also probalby has some issues going on; most people are interested in people close to their own age.

FracturedWings has it right in saying that the impact of the age gap decreases as one gets older. At 18, 2 or 3 years is probably sensible. At 21, maybe 3 years younger and 4 or 5 years older. When you get into your later 20s and beyond, the age gap starts to matter less, as both people are presumably closer in life experience, career prospects, etc.
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