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Is my crush just shy?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by jamescool, Mar 23, 2017.

  1. jamescool

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    I've finally told my crush I love him, several times. The problem is that it won't get through him. He either ignores it and becomes shy or just replies with a simple "I love you." I'm not sure if he accepts my confession or not, because "silence as acceptance" is quite a culture in my country. Sometimes, he will tell me he loves me out of the sudden too. We are different from last time, when we would jokingly tell each other "I love you". Now, I can feel that we are more sincere.

    My crush is also now more open in public. He clings to me and be touchy with me more than before, where he wouldn't act like this in public. Our friends who saw us walking together also said that we look like we're dating / look like a couple. He doesn't mind at all.

    I don't know if my crush loves me back or not. I think he feels the same, and is either shy or in denial as LGBTQ is still really not accepted in my country and a lot of things would go wrong if we officially become a couple. However, he should at least give me an answer when I confess to him in private.

    We are getting closer every day. I love being with him, so does he.
     
    #1 jamescool, Mar 23, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2017
  2. rollduke

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    i think he's into you, wait and get (or make) a proper moment to show hows your feeling to him
     
  3. resu

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    Ask him if he understands what you're telling him. However, try not to focus so much on his words but his actions. Maybe he's a type of person who is not so open with his feelings. I think his public actions are a very good sign.
     
  4. jamescool

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    Oh yeah I did this many times too but it is very weird. He told me that he doesn't understand, but in a joking way. He also asked me the same thing too, most of the time I said yes. However, when I said no and asked what did he mean, he went shy and did not want to say it. I think you're right here, not to focus on his words.

    I think he really does not want to accept his own feelings. He's more than a best friend to me now. He would get jealous if I'm too close with others (in a more than friendship way), and also said that I'm here for him only. He is also okay with gay talks now, and doesn't look like having homophobia anymore, compared to the past.
     
  5. jamescool

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    Okay. So I tried this omg. I told my crush that I love someone else (another guy) on a call. He immediately said that I cannot love that person or else he would be sad. Then, I told my crush that it was a joke and the one I actually love is him. He kept on questioning me whether which one I said is real until he believes that I love him.

    Well after this whole stuff we are back to how we are, like nothing ever happened. I guess he did know it all along that I love him (or would have guessed), and I think he does love me back too. Omg I'm not sure what to do :|
     
  6. resu

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    I think you should not tease him about someone else, but he also should not threaten you cannot love anyone else.

    Do you want a full relationship (or at least what is possible in your country)? Could you ask him to be your boyfriend? If you can't do that, then maybe you need to put some distance between you and him so you can get over your crush.
     
  7. jamescool

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    Thanks for the reply.

    He knew that I was teasing him and was playing around, so it's alright I guess. What do you mean by he should not threaten me to not love anyone else? I think he loves me, and knows I love him too.

    Nope I would not use the word "boyfriend", it is very awkward if used in a gay relationship, and will receive a lot of discrimination as well, in my country. However, we have a word to substitute it (for gay), let's call it X.

    I've said that he is my X, and he has said that I'm his X too. We don't ask for it, we say it with understanding of both sides. But for some reason, I don't feel like we are in a relationship, guess it's because of culture problem? Maybe a gay relationship in the public would be weird? (So far I've seen none.)
     
  8. resu

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    I thought when he said you cannot love anyone else, it was inappropriate because you two are not in an official relationship.

    No matter what you call the relationship or what you feel is safe to show in public, you should just talk to him about what you want and listen to what he wants. Try to work something both of you can agree on since saying "I love you" is not working in this situation.