Do I tell my friend I have a crush on them?

She trusted you enough to come out to you as ace or gay, so really she's on the A-list of people you can talk openly to. She and you may be thinking and worrying about the same things.

But the way you sum it up in our last question... aargh it always comes down to this. When advising others, I lean toward taking the risk. Not so much in my own life, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

 

I'd say go for it
If she is truly your friend, than things don't have to be awkward between you all. I went thru this when I was 16 with my best friend. And we weren't friends nearly as long. He got a bit distant for a spell, he was straight, but I made myself clear that I understood if he didn't feel the same and I still wanted the friendship.
The thought of opening up like that truly can be scary, but at least if you take the risk you never have to wonder "what if".

 

I wrote my friend a letter. I don't think I could've told him in person. And we had a mutual friend that (when he got distant) reminded him that I was still the same and still his friend no matter what.
I think just the fact that she trusted you enough to come out about her own identity is a good sign that either way she would be understanding.

 

Okay, I was in in the same situation with a friend who was between ace and gay as well. In the end, she ended up being ace (and aro- she was just confused for a while) so it didn't work out.

I told her but she obviously didn't like me back.

We are now celebrating our 10 year friendship and talking on a regular basis. She's my best friend; I don't have feelings for her anymore but she's my biggest confidant.

So it goes either way. You could keep it to yourself and hope the feeling goes away, or just tell her and take a chance. You could end up with a girlfriend. And if she isn't interested, she could still be your friend. You never know. You may need to take a break from talking to move on from the feelings but you never know what will happen if you don't try.

 

I have one idea on how you could approach this conversation...not the best and certainly not the most direct approach,...but it's one way to gauge her feelings without feeling like you have to lay it all on the line; which may make it easier.

You could simply say in the course of random conversation, 'I had this dream about you last night,' She'll ask you what it was about. You can say something along the lines that in dream you two were kissing...You'll be able to sense her reaction. (If she doesn't seem into it at all you can always play it off with a comment like, 'I know it was weird, but I always have these dreams where I am kissing different people!' or something like that, then move on to something else.) If she seems interested in the whole dream...well then you can take the conversation from there!

This was the approach my female friend used with me (in this case I WAS crushing on her too but God knows I was way too shy/scared to ever express my feelings to her!) After she told me about her dream, I said ...'oh, I've had that dream about you too...' and the conversation opened up from there. And that's how we started and our dynamic went from friendship to relationship!

I like your thought, 'go big or go home.' If my friend hadn't been the first to bring up her attraction to me, being too scared to do it myself, I NEVER would have. And I always would have wondered 'what if'--and I would have missed out on the beautiful year long relationship we had! I know bringing this topic up in any way is scary when you feel it might risk the friendship, but as the other poster suggested, you don't want to be questioning 'what if..' if you don't bring it up at all! Best of luck to you!

 

I think in person would definitely be better. There is no way to sense tone, inflection or see body language over text!

 

Yes, tell her, and do it in person. I told my friend I liked him and although he didn't feel the same way he was flattered and we're still friends today. A good friendship can survive an expression of romantic interest, so long as you accept whatever the answer is and not continue to harp on it after the fact. And there's always a chance she feels the same way