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Girlfriend is Very Quiet?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lgbtqenjolras, Mar 27, 2017.

  1. lgbtqenjolras

    Regular Member

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    So I recently started dating this girl. I had told her I liked her, we texted all the time, we went to the movies, and then that night over text she asked me out. She's very sweet and pretty, and we have many of the same interests. The thing is, she barely says anything to me in person. I'm very quiet and she's quieter than me which is hard. I know she talks freely to her friends. I am a grade above her, so I am wondering if I intimidate her? I feel bad that she doesn't seem comfortable around me and I want her to know she can talk to me and not be judged. Does anyone have any advice on how to get her to open up? I really like her and I want this to work out.
     
  2. Aspen

    Advisor Full Member

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    My girlfriend likes to joke that I'm the only person quieter than she is. Go out on dates that give you something to talk about. Go to a museum, the zoo, the movies, or some place that you're both interested in. I know that I always feel like every topic of conversation has already been exhausted in text so there isn't anything to talk about in person. This can help with that if she feels similarly.

    When you're together and you find conversation lapsing, ask her pointed questions. It might be difficult at first but hopefully with time she'll get more comfortable with casual conversation. If you texted all the time, then you already know that you have things to talk about. It's just a matter of having those conversations in person. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Zen fix

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    To piggyback on what Aspen said. Some pointed questions may be helpful. This can give a conversation focus and put more serious discussion on a temporary delay which can relieve some anxiety for both of you. As you talk try to watch for which subjects excite her and then focus on those.