Problems With My Children

Hello,

My name is Lori and I just joined. I am a m-f transgender living full time as a female. I was married for 26 years when my wife passed away in 2012. I have a problem with my son and daughter. First I'll tell you a little about my son. My son is 29 years old, married, one child and lives out of state. My son told me some years ago that he didn't like me being transgender and he would never accept it. When he got married I didn't get an invitation. He has shown me a lot of disrespect in the past not just about me being transgender but about following rules when he lived at home. He has even got physical with me. Well, I don't want to make this too long but we have been talking but I feel I have to walk on egg shells because of his anger. On his birthday this year, well actually my son and daughter are twins so it was both their birthday, he had his first child. A baby boy. When he finally told me that afternoon, I told him I wanted to drive down to see the baby. He came up with excuses, in short, telling me he didn't want me to come. That hurt me. His wife's family was allowed but not me. I believe the real reason was because I am transgender. Also, he has kept me away from her family since he started dating his wife. I never met her family. When they still lived around me I had asked my son if we could all have dinner together so I could meet her family. He just made up excuses. He won't even bring his wife to my house. Now I have met his wife but he won't bring her to my house. He makes more excuses. My counselor kept telling me I should call him out on his lies but I kept saying I wanted to keep the peace. But now all this is building up inside me and is depressing me. Another thing, he likes to text instead of calling. Every now and then he will call but that is rare. I usually have to initiate the text. Well, I haven't sent him a text in 2 weeks now and he hasn't tried to contact me. I live alone since my wife has passed and I am so lonely and depressed. It's a chore just to type all this. I feel I have no one that cares about me. I feel unloved and uncared for. I feel I don't have a life and there's nothing to live for.

My daughter, as I said they are twins so she is 29 also. She is hard to understand. She told me she was ok with me being trans but when I went to her house for Christmas dinner her boyfriend was there. She told me later that I was, "dressed up." I don't know if she meant I was "dressed up" as a woman or as in dressed formally. I am leaning towards "dressed up" as a woman. I don't think I was dressed formally. I had on jeans and a nice top, a necklace and boots. I asked her what she meant and she said, "well, you were wearing boots." I mean what did she expect me to wear? She knows I changed all my documents legally to show the correct gender and also changed my name legally. She also knows I am trans. She went to out of state for a wedding a couple of weeks ago and I told her when she gets back I'd like to spend more time with her doing things. I said maybe a movie or go out for dinner or play cards. Well, she opted for playing cards. Probably to avoid being in public with me. She said she would let me know when. After she came back from the wedding, I asked her when she wanted to get together and she said she would let me know. It has been a week and a half and she has never gotten back to me. Not even to say hello. She doesn't call to see how I am or anything. I have a really bad back and it keeps me in pain a lot and she knows this and she never asks how I am. She never comes to check in on me or anything. Like I said I feel so alone and am so depressed I can't stand it.

If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do about my son and daughter please let me know. Thanks for listening.