Can't Escape Drama

Hello everyone,

I while back I did something completely immature. Now I think I have learned from it, and I have removed myself from the situation. It involved drama at my high school, so the best choice for me was to do online school (for other reasons as well as drama).

I've tried to make friends. I go to a group therapy for teenagers every Saturday. Before then, I would go to group therapy three times a week, but it only lasts for a couple months and then you can graduate to the therapy I'm in now. It has all the same people from the old group--everyone I knew has graduated to the group I'm in now.

There's a boy in that group who I have a crush on. He's transgender and asexual. There's also a girl in the group who went to my old middle school, so I know a lot about her. She's pansexual, I'm betting, because she's had both boyfriends and girlfriends. I told her weeks ago that I have a crush on this boy and she said "who doesn't?" She also told me an extremely small list of reasons she thinks he likes her, that it was just a gut feeling though. She also said she probably wouldn't pursue him because he's asexual and she's not, and she's a touchy person. She told me that the boy broke up with his long-distance partner, and she could see he was really upset by it. The entire time this girl was explaining her reasons, which included pretty much solely "he hugged me twice and volunteered to do it" and "he said he will be my good luck charm," I completely supported her and tried to look at things through a logical perspective. She didn't have much evidence for him liking her. However, she had a boyfriend, which she didn't tell me until I heard it in group days later.

Yesterday the boy graduated from group, so he's allowed to contact those of us who have graduated now. I've been texting him and seeing little things that seem to indicate that he might like me (of course, though, there's no guarantee and I could be reading into things). Then, three hours later, I got a text from this girl saying she told him she liked him and that he said he's had a crush on her since the first day of group.

I asked her about her boyfriend. She said she dumped him, which is three days after she told everyone that things were getting better with her boyfriend.

She said, "I'm sorry" and "I know you liked him." I said that she literally just got out of a relationship, and she said, "ya gotta move on with your life[,] ya know." I told her about all the people I've told I've liked in order to move on from my girlfriend who broke up with me three or four months ago. None of them liked me back--these consisted of four girls, all of whom were my friends--and four out of five of them are known to be bisexual or biromantic.

I'm demisexual, and for me, I can only have a crush on people I've known for a while. This makes it frustrating when none of them like me back, because I don't easily get crushes but I want someone to spend my time with. Generally when I have friends they put their significant others or best friends above me, and I haven't had someone really connect with me in a really long time. Of course, friends are a good start, but it would be nice if I had a partner who really valued me.

She offered to set me up with a friend of hers who has similar interests as me, but I am hesitant of this. I told her about my demisexuality and the people I've tried to be with but they didn't like me. I told her she was essentially saying, "I got out of a relationship and whoops I'm in another one." She responded with, "lol we both think this will last." I'm betting that most people entering a relationship think it will last, honey.

She said, "well, we are dating now and I was his crush." She's been known to lie in the past.

She gave me absolutely no chance with this boy and I am furious with her but don't show it to avoid causing more drama. She's already a pretty belligerent person.

I was so angry that I stayed up until two am writing journal entries, "throwing shade" as my peers like to call it, picking out which parts of it I will share with the group. I don't mention the incident or even allude to it, I just write that I'm tired of being alone.

Should I tell him what's happening? Should I ask if everything she has said is true? I wonder if he knew about all this he would still view this girl in the same way. :tears:

I worry that if I get closer to this boy, the girl will eventually find out and convince him not to talk to me anymore. I mentioned the girl to him and he didn't say anything about her in his response.

This feels so out of the ordinary and against my own morals. Everywhere I go, my friends are telling me to be careful of rebound relationships and to take your time. I get out of traditional high school only to find more drama and immature people everywhere I go. :bang:

I fear that I'm going to post this and people will say "move on." I'm losing hope in this world. I finally love myself but it seems nobody else loves me.*

*I say this excluding my parents. They love me, but it's hard for parents to be your best friend and connect with you in a way people your age do.

Sorry again for the extreme length. I'm wordy. :dry:

Bee

 

Hello,

Thank you for your response. I wrote out a long explanation as I tend to do and then he said he's not attracted to me, that "I talked to them on the phone yesterday for 3 hours. It felt like minutes. I feel like we've been dating for months, yet it's only been a couple days."

He also said, "The thing is, we're only human. We can't help our feelings or whom we are attracted to. Why would that be any reason to hate another?"

Am I wrong in being mad at this girl? I don't think I am. Emotions aren't wrong, but actions can be.

Now he wonders what she did that was wrong. Anyone want to help me out?

Bee