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Well, That turned out different then I ever imagined, what to do now?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by PotatoPotato, Apr 13, 2017.

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  1. PotatoPotato

    PotatoPotato
    Full Member

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    Location:
    Netherlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hello there, I am pretty gay and had the luck that one of my friends suddenly decided to tell me he has a crush on me; ironically the friend I have a crush on and I came out as gay; we are going on a date soon.

    The oddity here is that he is not 100% sure but he thinks he is transgender and revealed that in hour he often (already) wears dresses and make up, even though he is not 100% sure what makes him happier yet. (logic)

    I feel kind of stuck with it as I realised (Why I don't know) I really am just gay and I don't know if he would become more "Female" or would actually switch gender how this would affect how I like (like)/love him.

    So it started with a shit ton of luck in a way I could never have imagined, then turned into a lovely date we will enjoy soon and it ended with me being stuck feeling worried.

    What should I do right now? does anyone have any tips or comments on this as I feel kind of stuck with it.

    ---------- Post added 13th Apr 2017 at 04:27 PM ----------

    By the way; This is a continueation on this one, so if you want to read the story up before this see here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...79-hey-well-happened-i-am-unsure-what-do.html
     
    #1 PotatoPotato, Apr 13, 2017
  2. CharacterStudy

    CharacterStudy
    Regular Member

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    Tough one. Just checking, is this the person that made you realise you're gay? If so that must be very very confusing to your own identity.

    My feeling would be to go with it for now, but talk to them about how you feel (ambivalent, uncertain), but make it clear that their happiness is important and they must do what makes them happy, without thinking about the impact on your relationship. Maybe you need to review this from time to time, have a meaningful conversation.

    For some people ultimately the packaging, so to speak, isn't the most important, some people fall for people's personality mainly. You do hear, occasionally, of say women staying with their recently trans MtF partner, after being together years. For other people it's understandably a deal-breaker - if you only fancy men, and they decide to transition MtF. Sounds like neither of you know enough yet to make any decisions about gender or your relationship, so if it's good, see where it takes you. But be cautious.
     
    #2 CharacterStudy, Apr 16, 2017
  3. PotatoPotato

    PotatoPotato
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Netherlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Thank you for the advice I appreciate it. I may update the story in a while.

    And no, he is not the person that made me realise I am gay; strangely I discovered it when looking out a window thinking to myself about cute boys; not cute girls outside, which was a really strange realisation to have in that sense. (I Lived in an apartment above a busy road back then) but somewhere always knew as long as I remember, I just never realised what that kind of implied. There wasn't really a person who made me realise I was gay so much as just random people biking on the street down from my window. (Don't take that as creepy; I was 13 at the time and looking at the busy life outside relaxed me.)
     
    #3 PotatoPotato, Apr 16, 2017
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