I went on a date - why do i feel down?

Hi

You've made a lot of progress, but could it be that you were harbouring a tiny hope that you would try dating/kissing/being affectionate with another guy and you'd hate it... therefore not gay. The fact this date went well, when you had time to think about it, meant that yep, you're gay. You like men. You like being with men. You're going to end up with a guy. Your life is definitely not going to evolve along the path you might once have imagined.

If this is the case, that that you have remnant internalised homophobia, you'll need to work on it like everything you've already worked on. My understanding from others is that it's a non-linear process often - so sometimes you find yourself going in circles, or returning to something you thought was sorted.

Alternatively, maybe you fancy him, but your common sense was picking up on some incompatibility. Have a deep think about how you feel about him. But if you walked home feeling like you were floating, with a big cheesy smile on your face, it was probably a good date.

As for Q2. Communication is key in relationships. Maybe he's picking up on your ambiguous feelings, maybe he's not into you as much, maybe he likes to keep things private. You've got to ask him what the two of you are.

 

Hello,

I think you're sad because your guy told his friend you're "just a mate" and you perhaps wanted to be more than that by now. It would make me sad too. But don't lose hope just yet, sometimes it takes people longer to know if the relationship will be more serious or not. I know it's hard. I've had my heart broken just like everyone else. I had a friend once tell me that you know you've found "the one" when he/she makes you feel that you're the most awesome person alive. Maybe this will happen for you with your current guy, or maybe you'll end up friends. But think of this....even if this guy is not "the one," staying friends is not a bad idea (if you can be comfortable with that) because you could meet the love of your life through him (i.e. one of his mates, friends, acquaintances, etc.). Stuff happens for a reason, and each broken heart is a lesson. There is someone out there for you (maybe this one, maybe another). Hang in there. ♥