How do I deal with my mom not understanding

Hmm, that's a very odd reaction. What does she think anyone would gain by "turning" you gay? And does she think you're so susceptible to suggestion, that you'd just go along with it? It's just not logical and, frankly, a bit rude.

Maybe try to explain it in terms she'd understand. Lay out the "evidence". Past feelings about boyfriends, bouts of depression (or whatever), etc. Anything you can point to that "on paper" can't be disputed.

Have you seen Dan Savage's video on coming out. There's a good bit about dealing with parents that may give you some ideas. Good luck!

 

Hey Shasta,

I've followed your threads for a long time and even commented on occasion.

What you are going through tugs at the strings of my heart. I wish you didn't have to deal with such an ignorant, yet still 'loving' parent. I get the frustration that you feel and I wish I had "THE" answer for you.

Unfortunately, the change is going to have to come from within your mom (or not at all). If you can get her to read some realistic modern information about sexuality, that could be a good start. If she won't even go for that, maybe you have to consider consigning yourself to the "nuclear option." In this case, it would be tell her that you are separating yourself from her until/unless she can begin to understand that what you are telling her about your sexuality (that it's NOT a choice, it's not going to 'change', etc) is a reality and she can just accept you for who you really are. Certainly that is a terrible option, but do you want to continue to support her 'ignorant' hopes that you can change back into a straight person again?

That probably didn't help, but I'm just saying...