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Learning to 'take the lead'

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by treasure1996, Apr 18, 2017.

  1. treasure1996

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Atlanta
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I'm having trouble 'taking the lead'. In all my past experiences with girls it's been that stereotypical 'butch' and 'femme' dynamic. My ex girlfriend was very dominant and persistent with me, she was super confident and experienced etc. so naturally i am used to being the more 'submissive' (?) one in the relationship.

    Recently however I met this girl at a charity group. After weeks of secretly glancing at her when she wasn't looking i decided to go over to her and make conversation. She then added me on social media and we organised to go out with a few other people in the charity group.

    I really enjoyed the night and we had deep conversations about life, and she even told me she was gay, to which i told her i was too. She bought me a few drinks during the night, as did I and she even asked to go somewhere less noisey to speak alone.

    After the night ended, the following morning she messaged me saying 'Did you get home alright?' and we then both said how we had a great time and should hang out again soon, and she suggested that we go 'somewhere more quiet'.

    I decided to take initiative and messaged her the following week asking if she was free on the weekend and if she'd like to get food and a drink. We ended up going out, it was a lovely night - absolutely no awkwardness, the conversation flowed and we got to know each other quite well.

    After the 'date' (?) I messaged her saying I had an awesome time and asked if she would be attending the next charity group meeting. The night came and I was an awkward mess because she hadn't messaged me for days after the date... so I walked over to her, said 'Hey' and hugged her then walked off quickly. We haven't spoken since and it's been over a week.

    I'm not sure if she's waiting for me to make a move?! I can tell she's quite innocent and she said she's never had a girlfriend etc.

    I just hate rejection, i fear it. I have anxiety too and over think these things so bloody much. I really like her and i'm afraid she's disinterested now because it's been well over a week since we've spoken. I'm so scared to make a fool out of myself and i'm wondering if she even likes me?!??

    Please help me!!! What should i do? And how do I learn to take the lead more??
     
  2. Worker Bee

    Full Member

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    Hey there. I think she may be waiting for you to make a move. It sounds like you had two great evenings however she may not be sure, like you, where you two stand. Perhaps you should text her asking her on a date (making sure to use the word date) and see how she responds.

    It may be that she's a little scared to read more into what's happened so far due to her inexperience and needs confirmation that you're not just two gay friends hanging out.