I was finally coming to terms with being bi, and then coming out sent me backwards as I mentioned in a previous thread. I feel all of the shame I did when I first discovered I was bi. The thoughts that I'm disgusting and sick and an embarrassment to my friends/family keep creeping back in. I KNOW in my heart these things aren't true, but the intrusiveness of them just won't go. SO, I was wondering if there are any sayings/quotes/statistics/things you remind yourself of when you're feeling ashamed of your sexuality? Or reasons to be proud of it? I was going to compile a list and just read it when the thoughts won't stop. I already have a few, but I'd LOVE some from anyone who wants to contribute. Thank you SO much. I could really use the help. :help:
Were you raised in a conservative environment? Maybe it will help to try and distance yourself from the feelings, examine where they originate from. Do you have OCD? Intrusive thoughts usually get better when you stop being afraid of them. Allow them in your mind, think "they're just thoughts" and examine them as if they're not your own. I know it's difficult, but when I had them (mine were not related to my sexuality though) that's how I beat them. As for my bisexuality, I never felt disgusting or sick, but I felt weird. Like I knew it was ok to be bi, but actually identifying as such was strange and gave me some anxiety, I didn't know how to handle my newly discovered identity nor had I discovered exactly what it meant to me. It was a mess but it got better.
PP, you are not alone with the feelings you have. So many of us feel shame not directly because of our respective sexuality, but because of the ignorance and lack of understand from others. The problem is, we have allowed that ignorance to diminish our own self image - and unnecessarily so! Human nature is to seek validation and acceptance. But that need for validation and acceptance is a double edge sword. Homophobia is brought on by the ignorance of others whom themselves are trying to find fulfillment in their lives where none exists. They seek out validation and acceptance by spreading hate which goes to somehow make them feel better. Well, this is a false approach. As it only goes to further distancing themselves from the validation that they truly desire. It is the responsibility of each of us to recognize that we first and foremost need to love ourselves, and not let the uneducated perception of others diminish whom we are. Even though we often seek out the acceptance of others, we need to accept ourselves. I know this sounds easier said than done, but this is the challenge that you need to rise up to. We all have challenges in life - regardless of our race, religion, cultural background, economic status or sexuality. As a human, we are required to confront those challenges and stand up to them. In the case of all of us on EC, our challenge is to embrace our sexuality and not allow the misconception of others to diminish our self esteem or confidence. You can do it!
I always remind myself 'we all have our place under the sun' when ever I feel very desperate. We have the right to be who we are and live the way we want as long as we are not causing harm to anyone else.
