1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Marital discontent or identity confusion?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Marbabar, Apr 19, 2017.

  1. Marbabar

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2017
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Salt Lake City
    I've been married to the guy for a long time. He's a wonderful man and a great husband and father. But I've been pretty unhappy about the relationship for a while, though it's hard to say why exactly. I've also been exploring feelings of being a trans woman.

    Right now I identify as a gay man. But if I'm a trans woman, and still like men, then I'd be straight. And then I'd be one of those straight women married to a gay man, like I always read about. I don't want to be a straight woman married to a gay man. I want to be a straight woman married to a straight man, someone who would be attracted to me. This line of thinking has me worrying: am I subconsciously making up my trans feelings so I'll have an excuse to leave a marriage that just isn't "doing it for me anymore"? The subconscious mind is a powerful thing.

    Question is, how can I tell? Should we separate and see how I feel about my gender issues? Should I try to bring him along on my trans journey and see how my feelings toward him go? What would be the kindest, most realistic, most responsible path here?
     
  2. OnTheHighway

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2014
    Messages:
    3,934
    Likes Received:
    632
    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Have you considered couples counseling?