So story time, Once upon a time when I was a sad, completely buried in the closet lesbian, I had a crush on one of my friends. Story of most everybody's life right? But for whatever reason I have never been able to not just blurt out what I was thinking around her. And it was one of these times when I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and her and announced that if "I was a lesbian I would date K". Ha ha ha tada! So she's straight and I haven't said anything on the matter since then out of respect for her orientation and our friendship. So now she keeps saying that she's always wondered what it was like to kiss a girl. And I know I should have just laughed and left it at that like all the other times but apparently I have no self control or self preservation because I just said, "Well as long as I'm not taken, I could be your first." I'm so stupid.:eusa_clap I don't think anything is going to happen with that. And tbh I don't think it's very nice to say something like that considering she knows my deal with her. I don't really want to jump into that frying pan. She's nothing but trouble outside of the friend zone. But you ever just sit and mull over how it wouldn't be so bad if you got your heart broken by the person? Even if you know it would be inevitable? I hope not because it's stupid and not worth it. How do you fix a mouth that just runs straight into trouble? And a head that is too dumb to keep you out of it? I just really wished I hadn't hoped she was serious. Ugh
I wouldn't throw shade on your mouth/brain at all. It sounds like you are doing just the kind of flirting that would help you find out if she (or someone else) is really interested or not. What you are doing is what lots of people post on EC asking "how do I do this?" I shouldn't be the one to raise false hopes, but you might not be just in the friend zone. She might have been dropping a little hint about kissing. Oh well, good luck with her (maybe) or whoever (definitely) because really you do know how to tactfully put yourself out there.
I suppose, I guess I was just worried that I was making it something that it wasn't. I don't like feeling stupid and I've fallen for too many straight girls so I was just worried I was making it easier to be getting my own hopes up if that makes sense? I think too much. And I have a habit of worrying. I'm working on it.
