Happy Update

"If it ain't love, why does it feel so good?"
___________________________


Confession time! I have only been physically attracted to a handful of people in my 20 years of living. Most of those in that small group of people have only been attractive in points in time.

So when I met this girl, T, a month ago I was not expecting what happened. I saw her picture from the friend who introduced us and I thought she was really cute. When I saw her in person though...

Is it possible to be so attracted to someone you've just met? Apparently. I had never experienced attraction to another person outside of having emotional connections first so I was completely caught off guard. I feel like a crazy person, I had to remember to breathe when I met her. I honestly didn't think I was capable of it outside some sort of established relationship.

It's disputed medically on how much pheromones affect humans but in that moment I would swear by them.

Talking with her we hit it off right away and we've been on two dates so far. We have some things in common but the things we don't fascinate me. I frankly love learning more about her.

We went to the local festival today and spent most of the time laughing and joking and smiling despite the rain. I may have put my foot in my mouth (and mud) a couple times and accidentally stolen a flower but it was so much fun. I've never felt it was so easy to just be myself. I definitely still have some worries as I am a naturally anxious person but it's never been so easy to shush the worried voice.

I dreamt about her last night and her calming effect was even in my dream. I slept well for the first time since the night we both stayed at the friend's house.

:icon_redf Idk I think I'm just rambling but I really hope things keep on this path. I'm not in love, but I've never been more excited about the possibility of it in the future.


_________________
"But if I fall for you, I'll never recover. If I fall for you, I'll never be the same."