Hi, I'm Wired0 and I created this account because I need a neutral view I suppose? Things haven't been going well in my relationship and it's all my fault. Nearly eight months ago I moved out of my house and moved in with my sister, she lives far away from my family. I moved because I wanted change, there were many bad events in my old town and I needed a break. My family relationships are fine and they were approving of my move. In December 2016 I met a guy,and we've been together for a while. I'm always round his house and hate it when we're apart. He's met my family and they all like him things were going good... Out of nowhere I've been feeling depressed. For no reason at all. I just started getting bad days, and over time the bad days have taken over the good ones. I don't remember the last good day I had. He's been amazing. He's listened to me and comforted me in times that I've needed it the most. But I fear that all my negativity is dragging him down. There's been this tension and it rarely goes. We've never argued and he's constantly calm. He's perfect. This relationship is what many people want. I'm lucky have him. But what I don't understand is why I still feel like this. Every day I wake up I feel empty and just wish I could sleep. I tell myself that I'm going to keep my feelings to myself and focus on the positives, my boyfriend. But I can't stop it showing and it always ends up with me piling my bad feelings onto him and bringing back the tension. I guess this was just a way of venting out my feelings, but any opinions and advice would be strongly appreciated. How can I help myself to overcome these feelings that are bad for my relationship? How can I appreciate what I have? :tears:
What you are describing sounds like you might be clinically depressed. This is something you should talk with a therapist about. You can't just "talk yourself" out of depression... if this is what you have, it is a real and significant mental health issue that requires professional help. There are quite a number of things that could be contributing to it, but fundamentally, depression is a problem of brain chemistry being imbalanced. One thing that you can do, that is helpful to some people, is simply getting out of your house and walking for at least 15 minutes a day. It sounds incredibly simple, but for mild-to-moderate depression, that simple act will make a significant difference for a large portion of depressed people. And I would definitely seek some additional help to explore what's going on.
