He Sent Me Nudes...More Than Once???

Yes, in my opinion from what I've read, he is definitely curious about you sexually. However, from what you had mentioned in an earlier post about liking straight men...to me...this seems as if it would be the perfect scenario for you to explore .... or conquer. I remember this straight guy that hung around and when I told him I was gay...he too like your friend started asking me those questions such as; "what do you think of me??", have you ever thought about me naked or wanting to have sex with me???". He too started sending me nude pictures of himself and even a few videos of him masturbating. Anyway, he was engaged to be married really soon and the night of his bachelor party...he got really drunk and I wound up taking him home. While driving him home, he kept trying to put his hands between my legs and when helping him get into his place, he kept trying to kiss me and grinding up against me, etc. He was saying that he wanted to have sex with me but I had to make sure that what happens stay between the two of us. I pushed him away and let him know that this was not going to happen because I have respect for his fiance. He made attempts a few more times and I still resisted. He got really pissed at me and I left figuring he would sleep it off and go back to normal. However, I received an email the next day saying that it would be better for him if I did not come to the wedding, the reception, etc. I obliged and since then, he ended our friendship and I never heard from him again. I had seen him a few times out in public, but he would turn away or cross to the other side of the street or better yet..hold his head down if we were in close proximity. Nonetheless...back to your situation...I really do believe your friend wants to have sex with you. The only thing is that once this takes place which I believe it will..what you need to consider is what will happen between you two afterwards??? especially if he really likes it ??? Furthermore, I think he is playing this teasing game with you. You know for some reason you have some straight guys who think that gay guys are just attracted to every guy which is ridiculous. However, I do believe that he is thinking that by sending you nude photos and videos that you are really enjoying it to the point of getting turned on by them and eventually, you will make the first move which would rectify the situation for him as being the logical reason for him to turn the blame on you. Just some things to consider...JS

 

First of all..if this helps you...the "straight" guy that I spoke about did not like when other guys approached me or even me speaking of other guys. Therefore, I would think of it as some kind of jealousy to the degree of him wanting the focus/attention just on him alone. No...he does not want nude pics from you and just because he does not want them do not mean that he does not want to smash you. However, I am more certain that because he knows or even sense you have a crush on him that he does this in order to stroke his ego from assuming that him sending you naked pics are really turning you on.

Again...the "straight" guy that I spoke about had gotten to the point of stripping naked around me all the time. I could leave the room and go to the kitchen for something and when I return to the room...he has gotten totally naked, many times erect and with his legs wide open looking at me in a sexual way. He even masturbated in front of several times too thinking this will really get me excited.

Since I do respect someone who claims to be straight as I would expect them to do the same to me...I did not make a move towards him as he had expected and this lead to him to eventually questioned me in regards to if I was attracted to him and why I did not make a move on him while he is in front of me stark naked?? Needless to say, my ignoring or walking out of the room many times when he did this led to him making the initial move on me instead of me on him. In fact, all moves towards me was made by him. I remember this one time I had mentioned that I had a dream and he was in it. He stopped doing what he was doing and got really excited and mentioned that its about time that you started dreaming about me sexually. Unfortunately, my dream with him in it was not a sexual dream at all.

Just out of curiosity...I decided to play a mind game with him. One night...I mentioned that I have a huge crush on him and beginning to think about a lot. He had this huge grin on his face after hearing this and then began to question me about why I never tried to do anything to him or when he gets naked in front of me...has it turned me on so much that after he leaves and I go to bed ... do I masturbate about what had taken place??? His reaction to this make believe confession from me just made his night so to speak because this what he wanted to hear from me that I was attracted to him.

The thing is this...you have those so-called straight guys who are attention seekers especially from a gay man who they tend to believe is attracted to them. When they are in denial or struggle with their own sexuality, to know that their flirtation and actions such as sending nudes and videos is like a stroke of their ego assuming in their minds that these actions are driving you wild to the degree that you will eventually make the move on them and whether they play along and go with it or not. The bottom line is that by you making the first move gives them the option to play the blame game on you if something eventually does happen between the two of you. If I were you and this is just my own opinion or suggestion on this matter. I would not do a thing and let him be the initiator. I really think that more that you do not respond or give him the reaction that he expects from you..then this will put him in the position to make the first move if he wants something physical to happen between you two.

 

I'm glad that you appreciate the advice I am giving you. I speak from first hand experience so I have no problem sharing what I know with someone who is dealing with a similar situation as myself. In my opinion and from what I went through...if you do not react or give any kind of response...more than likely...he will still send you the nudes. In fact, I am willing to bet that he will take things up a notch or two in order to really gain your attention. At this point, he's looking to have his ego stroke by you and so far..you still have not giving him the reactions that he looking for.

Thus far...the only thing he does know is that you like him a lot and because of knowing that...this is what got him to start sending you nudes in order to see if you want him so bad that eventually you will make that initial move. However, the more you do not give any kind of reaction...the more he will do whatever possible to obtain the attention from you that he's looking for. In regards to his girlfriend...I will be honest with you...nine time out of ten..if by chance something sexual does happen between the two of you and he really enjoys it...he will not leave his girlfriend because as far as he is concern...if something does develop sexually for the two of you..to him its just exploratory sex to kill the curiosity and afterwards..he will most likely shut it all down throughout his female relationships until that urge strikes again.

When I was bartending... I met this guy whom I thought was single and from someone else who knew him really well...I found out that he was married for over 20 years with grown children. From what a very close friend of his told me that he has been meeting guys out of town or in the local steam rooms or gyms for sex and then goes back home to his married life. One night, he confessed that he really liked me a lot and he really wants to be with me but he will never leave his family because he loves his wife no matter what. I told him that he will not have to worry about doing anything like that for me because I don't want him that way and the best relationship that he and I could ever have is just a platonic friendship....nothing more. Once he realized that I was serious..this is when he disappeared and I never heard from him again. However, rest assured, that he is still meeting guys on the DL. What I did come to find out from his conversations is that his wife I think is very much aware of his DL antics but since they have been together for so many years and he has provided such a great lifestyle for her and her children that she really is not fazed by it because she is doing her thing as well.

At the end of the day what you have to come to terms with is that if you do not give him the reactions or responses that he expects you to from sending you nudes...he will take things to another level sexually with those pics and videos in order to get the reactions he is seeking. However, if something develops between you two...this can go two ways at the end of the day: 1) He will like the sex and will want to keep you around as a "DL side piece", 2) He will get his male to male sexual needs fulfilled and then disappear from your life altogether. However, he will then conquer another guy out there the same way as he has done you. In other words...I doubt very seriously if his world would stop because of you no matter what would transpire between the two of you. Yes...you mentioned you do like him but just know that before you give in to this that there is a lot you need to consider and if he's worth going through what will present itself in the future. :smilewave

 

Of course he is trying to tell you something in order to get some kind of reaction out of you. In my opinion...it does sounds as if he is confused about his sexuality. Another thing...no confident straight man is going to send a gay guy nude pics of himself unless he has some kind of interest in the guy whether it be sincere or from a twisted place. Again..he sounds very complicated and confused. Nonetheless, I do foresee a friends with benefits situation developing between you two. However, I too suggest that if this does comes to play and if you are capable enough to restrain any feelings you might develop towards him then it may be something that would be in your favor/interest. :smilewave

 

Ok...this will be a problem for you because I am pretty sure that whatever gestures or looks you have been throwing at this guy in order for him to know that you are attracted to him. I pretty sure that one of the reason he is sending you nude pictures is because he thinks that you have been with a guy sexually before. At this point, you're okay because nothing has developed. However, if this guy does eventually make a physical move or say something outright to let you know what he wants, then its only fair for you tell him the truth. To be honest with you, I too assumed you've had experience with guys sexually as well from how you wrote about things within your previous posts. From what you have mentioned about this guy...I don't see him being acceptable or better yet..patient or understanding with the fact of finding out that you have no experience with guys sexually due to the fact that if something does happen between you two, he seems to be certain that all is well with sexual contact. In the meantime, perhaps you should look into obtaining some DVDs demonstrating how to engage in gay sex. There are even books out there as well. Better yet, you could just watch some gay porn to get some insight on how to go about gay sex once you have been approached by someone you are interested in. Who knows?? If something does develop between you and this guy..he may just want to engage in dry humping or oral sex for starters. I think you have some things to really think about. Nonetheless, I wish you all the best...JS

 

Hi riley02,

Part of me thinks that he is just being an attention seeker and looking for an ego boost.
However, sending these pictures "because it's funny" is a complete lie in my opinion. I can't imagine a straight guy persistantly sending those type of pics and videos without being somewhat curious... at least.
My advice would be to not respond the those messages, or if he asks whether you got them, just say something like;
"Oh yea, but I just deleted it straight away because my phone has no space /memory left on it". You could also try "oh yea I got them, but I just deleted them" and give no reason. Even if he asks, just say "cuz I did".
This puts the ball in your court. He can either work harder for your attention and maybe you'll see if he actually does like you, whether it be just physical or that and more. Alternatively and the not so good part, you might see if he was just playing with your head.
In the meantime, he doesn't need to know what you do with all that media he is sending. You can tell him it's gone, when really you are getting good use out of it. I'm guilty of that ha.