So around this time, about a year ago, I came out to my mom. After a few weeks, she pressured me into coming out to my dad. They both made a big deal about how I shouldn't feel like I have to keep things like this to myself and how they were going to make an effort to talk with me more about how I'm feeling. Yet, it's been a year and my sexuality has only been brought up one other time. It's frustrating, I want to be able to tell them about how that cute girl sat next to me today in class, or how I was upset after prom because the girl I wanted to dance with danced with someone else. But, every time, I clam up. It's like I have to come out again every time I want to bring up something concerning the fact that I'm a lesbian. I'm worried that my parents think it's just a phase. My dad still teases me about boys. My mom still asks me if I thought her friend's son was cute. I want to believe that they're just joking, but it's becoming more and more apparent that they're not. I'm graduating soon and I've always figured that once I move out and get a girlfriend they'll finally come to terms with my sexuality, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. Should I bring it up again, or just let them figure it out on their own?
Hi erimas, sorry to hear that. I am in a very similar position with my parents. And it sounds like your parents are in denial, they don't want to believe that you are a lesbian. So bringing it up with them again probably won't make much difference. Do you have anyone that you would feel comfortable talking to about this?
I have a few close friends that I'm out to and that I can talk with and I'm really grateful to have them. I just wish that I could talk to my parents. It makes me uncomfortable to be out to most of my friends at school, but then back in the closet when I come home.
I actually had quite a heated argument/debate with my family today regarding this. Also, my parents have never brought up my sexuality. Today, my parents welcomed my sister's boyfriend over dinner, but whenever I asked my parents if my boyfriend could come over they would be unsure and say they would think about it (double standard much). They still refer my boyfriend as my friend which is upsetting, but they won't listen nor will they acknowledge him as my boyfriend (what can you do). What I've realized today is that my parents are not going to change no matter how many times I bring it up. My dad especially thinks same sex couples are wrong, and he doesn't accepts gays (ouch). I can't wait to move out, get a full time job, and start a life of my own. It's unfortunate that there are limitations when you live with your parents because they pull the "you're under my roof" card, and you can't say a lot after that. Try finding a group of friends that you can't trust, or an LGBT centre where people of similar struggles can help you. You may not be able to change your parents beliefs, but get a good support group because everyone needs someone that can understand them.
It's similar with me, my mom also likes to pretend that my love for girls is just a phase, keeps telling me to find a man and sees her future son-in-law in every male that interacts with me. Every time she says things like that, she puts me off of men even more :roflmao: I think our parents will really wake up only when we find a real relationship with someone, then they will be forced to admit it's real. Idk if I helped but you're not alone girl
It is a difficult situation but I agree with Jax12. Having supportive friends and seeing if you could join some LGBT groups could help. The more people you can trust to talk openly to, the better you may feel.
Same situation... I came out 12 years ago and I have had 2 relationships. My mom always referred to my boyfriends as friends. Only once did my first bf come over for Sunday lunch. While I lived abroad, it was with my "roommate" or friend. And since coming back home, it's been easier to be back in the closet than out. I can't even have gay friends come over for coffee... yeah I live at home since coming back to SA as it costs a ton to live alone and my sister and I actually help take care of the house and expenses. I can't leave my sister to do that alone. My sexuality never comes up. Ever. It's almost like I never told them.
The more I read posts on EC, the more I wish I could share my parents with everyone here. But yeah, they probably just don't get it yet. Suspicious that they keep talking about guys with you. Might take them a bit longer to come to terms with it.
