I have a crush on my best friend of 10 years (friends for 5, best friends for 5, crush for about 3). I talk to her about everything (except for the fact that I like her) and I feel like she's pretty open with me too. She told me that she's questioning and I know that I'm the only one who knows this. She's told me about some personal issues she's dealing with. I don't know if anyone else knows about these issues she has, but it makes me feel special that I know. Knowing her the way I do, I doubt she's told anyone else? What I'm wondering is are there things you would tell a best friend that you wouldn't tell a crush or vice versa?
First, I need to warn you to not get your hopes up. I was in this exact situation with a friend who I really liked. Then she started questioning, so I got excited and told her. She ended up rejecting me, mainly because she realized she wasn't into girls at all (or even guys, she's asexual basically). I'm sort of glad we never dated since dating someone questioning can lead to heartbreak and ruin the friendship. Luckily, it didn't. With women especially, they tell everything to their best friends that they wouldn't tell their crushes or SO's. So that alone might not mean anything. It could mean something, but we don't know what she's thinking.
Thanks for the warning. Actually my friend has spoken to me about possibly being asexual and honestly, I'm not all that well versed in asexuality. Not to sound ignorant, but is it possible for an asexual person and a non asexual person to be in a relationship or are asexuals just not in relationships at all? Do you regret telling your friend that you liked her? Do you think it was something that 'needed' to be shared or do you think it would have been better if you had kept it a secret?
In all honesty, It's going to depend on the asexual in question. My friend is also aromantic, so there was no hope of anything happening in my situation. Some asexuals do have romantic orientation, and in that case- it can work. However, dealing with sex can be an issue. Some asexuals are not willing to have sex at all in relationships, and others are willing to do it out of a compromise (In the same way that someone who is uninterested in sports may go to a game because they know their partner wants to). You will need to find out more information here though. As for my friend, I don't regret telling her. Rejection can be disappointing, but in my case it did not harm our friendship. It got off my chest and brought us closer together in some ways even. This happened almost three years ago, and we're still friends now- in fact, we just finished texting back and forth. lol. It's easier on me now because the feelings are gone, but sometimes you do need to take time to yourself after a rejection.
