I've been seeing this guy for about two and a half months. We hang out once or twice a week and we have been physical with each other. In fact, he's the first person I've ever had anal sex with. My problem is that although I trust him and enjoy his company, I'm just not that excited and I don't feel like I'm in love with him. He, on the other, seems completely head over heels. He asked me last time we hung out if he could call me his boyfriend and I was honest and said I'm on the fence in terms of my romantic feelings for him. Am I just being selfish and leading him on? A part of me was thinking maybe just give it time and see if your feelings develop, and although they have a little bit I still feel quite reluctant to make things official between us. Any ideas? :rolle:
In my opinion, you have two options: 1) You can sit him down and have an honest talk with him in regards to your feelings about him. Let him know that you really enjoy his company as a good friend but at this time..you do not feel anything more on your behalf in regards to establishing a relationship. 2) You can start putting some distance to the degree of not hanging out with him so much. Perhaps, the more you hang out with him...the more he is thinking that there is potential of a relationship. You know, some guys tend to think that if things gotten physical on a sexual basis that automatically, you are really into each other. There have been times in my life where I had to deal with this from an ex-boyfriend or acquaintance. If you happened to have sex with them, they would automatically assumed that there's a good possibility that we are getting back together without having that conversation. All in all...these are my suggestions on how to go about handling your situation. Whatever you decide...I wish you the best of luck...JS
Thanks, it's just a tad confusing though because he really is a good guy and treats me so well and I feel like that's hard to find unfortunately
Well...for me...its about doing the right thing!! If you know that someone is very interested in you and you do not feel the same way, then in my opinion...in order to prevent this guy from developing deeper feelings for you, then I think you should upfront and hones where you stand. Although he may be disappointed...the fact of the matter is that eventually he will respect you for doing so at the end of the day. When you say that he treats me so well...that more than likely because he likes a lot and want you to know this by the way he treats you. Nonetheless, for me, that is no reason for you to maintain this relationship without being upfront about how you feel about him. Just my opinion...JS:eusa_naug
What is your prior experience dating men? I think you could just say you're not interested in a full relationship right now. Don't try to promise what you can't deliver right now.
Seems like you have done what your supposed to do, be honest. Continue to be honest. So long as you are clear and he understands, where both of you are communicating, then your not leading him on. Be sure not to send mix messages, this is where the challenge can be.
Thanks, that does make things a bit clearer. I'll do my best to be honest but not play with his emotions at the same time. Will post again if anything comes up.
