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Disowned by my Parents - Part 4 - Diagnosed with PTSD

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Lynz, May 12, 2017.

  1. Lynz

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    Hiiiii,

    So I haven't been on here in a few months due to my head being a mess. But trying to get back into talking again... sorry for the messages I haven't replied too from u awesome people I got chatting to on here. I will soooon.

    Anyway. 34, married to my awesome WIFE, but disowned by my parents at 14, recurring depression and panic attacks. Finally went back to counselling in January after chatting on here. Took 2 attempts to find a reallyyyy good therapist. Diagnosed with PTSD. Meds changed. Lots of CBT which I have been having weekly now for nearly 4 months. Trying to get good at Mindfulness.

    I think my head is starting to peek out from the clouds. Some days. Feel ready to talk again. I think. Probably.

    Anyway - task from my counsellor. Research the shit out of parental estrangement - as in, FIND others who have been through the same thing. I've been googling the hell outta this for a week or so and can't find nada support groups for disowned LGBT. So - aweome EC - Anyone on here please that has, or that knows anyone that has???? Believe me, I know it's a HARDDDD subject. But let's talk?

    Lots love to all (&&&)
    Lynz
     
  2. Really

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    Hey Lynx,
    Glad to see things are looking up for you. Can't help on the other matter but I'm happy you're making progress. :thumbsup:
     
  3. BostonStranger

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    Hi Lynz,

    I'm glad to hear things are starting to look up every now and then. I can't help you with parental estrangement, luckily I suppose, but I did live with PTSD (and mild schizophrenia) for well over a year. I didn't take any meds, in fact I was too scared to seek professional help. Studying social work, I was familiar with CBT and it helped me a lot.

    To me, PTSD was like a very primal defensive mechanism. It's like the trauma 'flipped a switch' in me. I always felt scared, like I could be hurt at any time. I realised that those thought of being in danger were irrational and I reflected on them and told myself that my reactions to the triggers were unfounded.
    The biggest challenge for me was to allow myself to be vulnerable again. I denied myself my basic emotions to protect myself. Sure I felt safer, but I didn't feel human anymore. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is exactly what the PTSD doesn't want you to do, but it's a necessary step in the healing process.

    Like I said, I can't help you with parental estrangement, but I can help you with questions about PTSD (*hug*)
     
  4. Lynz

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    Hi BostonStranger,

    Thanks so much for sharing that. Thank uuuuuu.

    I guess I'm new to it so not exactly sure of the questions I have yet. If that makes sense. I guess the main thing at the moment is I'm finding it impossible to get memories out so I can heal from them. Did u find that? Like total blank. Or like my mind has erased them, or maybe not erased, but just a brick wall, no like a wall made of 60 feet thick something, goes up to stop me getting to the memories. Fear of being vulnerable as u say, yes. I just don't see how any amount of therapy will break down that wall to let me heal enough, after 20 years of surviving.

    Thanks so much to u too Really.

    Love love
     
  5. BostonStranger

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    You're very welcome (*hug*)

    To some degree, yeah. It wasn't totally blank for me, as I started dealing with it less than a year after the trauma, but I do still have some trouble recalling everything. Those memories are still there. The brain just blocks them to protect itself. It took me about half a year to let myself be vulnerable. That's where the cbt came in; reflecting on my reactions to triggers. All these defense mechanisms kicked in when they didn't have to. I realised that and eventually mustered the courage to let my guard down. That became easier with time. Eventually the triggers, thoughts and all the other symptoms disappeared completely. In fact I came out of it feeling more confident and in touch with my emotions :slight_smile:
     
  6. Lynz

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    Thanks so much again for sharing.

    Had another cbt today so head a bit pickled tonight. But thanks for explaining how it worked for u. Really helps!
     
  7. BostonStranger

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    I might not be the best example, as I didn't seek professional help and instead went for self diagnosis and treatment (out of embarrassment), but I do know what it's like to have ptsd.

    You're very welcome, I'm glad I can help. If there's anything I can do or if you just need someone else to talk to, I'm here for you (*hug*)