I'm a 25 year old female interested in a 38 year old woman. We work in the same department but she is not my boss. Her and I had an immediate attraction when we first met, however, at the time I was in a relationship with a man. I felt the attraction but ignored it and she never seemed to act on anything either. However we went out a few times with our mutual friends and workmates and on one occasion our interactions became very intimate, in my personal feelings. I should mention here that at the time, I knew she had been with other women, as she stated that explicitly as she sat next to me talking to our group of friends. At the time I think she assumed I was hetero only. On this occasion I was still with my male partner however he and I essentially ignored eachother the whole night, while being cordial. No one assumed anything was wrong. I sat next to her for about 3 hours drinking beer at a bar and we talked sometimes only to eachother amongst a large group of friends. Some of the topics she asked about were why I wasn't wearing my engagement ring and why did I want to get married. She also asked why I didn't wear more fancy clothes and asked me to let my hair down to see how long it was, and then asked her friend to corroborate that I looked nice with it down. She said she still couldn't figure out why we clicked so well and that she had been trying to figure it out since the first time we met (months earlier). Later that night we went out to the club and I put her fancy clothes on. I had an injury so she helped to dress me. I don't think I asked for help, she just did it. When we went out dancing I remember on two distinct occasions her grabbing me to grind. I've danced with women before but this felt different, she put her hand around my stomach as we danced (with our work mates in the party). I told my partner I was going to sleep at her place since he wanted to drink more and went home with her and her guests. She helped to undress me but was respectful of not taking my clothes off without having some cover. We fell asleep and nothing really happened except I put my feet over hers and she commented in the morning that I was very cuddly. Since then I broke up with my fiance (he was abusive) and she let me stay at her place with her guests until I had another safe place to stay. I told her everything that happened. It was also during this time that things got wierd between us. I feel like she came onto me, I know I came onto her. But in all occasions, I could also not be interpreted as a come on. Once after a night of dancing and drinking, I asked her to cuddle me to sleep. I laid on her chest with my hand over her stomach. She commented that she'd never been in that position before and I told her I only did that with my close friends (I lied, I will spoon with my close friends). The next day, things were awkward, but I don't know who made it that way - me or her. But it was okay later after I secretly gave her $100 for all the hospitality and she joked to our mutual friend that it was like being paid as a cheap prostitute for cuddles. To which her friend replied, I can never get cuddles out of you and that she was much more fun when I was around. This woman laughs at all my jokes, even when no one else finds them funny. I've caught her staring at my butt and she has slapped it once. But at other times she will emphasize how hot male athletes look and will purposefully sit away from me or with bags in-between us. The last thing that I think makes things clear and yet confusing is something that happened one night after a bunch of is went to her parents place for dinner. We piled into a friends car but she had to sit in the back as there were no more seats and she was holding food. She sat in the trunk and I sat in the back seat. I reclined my seat so i was laying into the trunk area. She reached out across the car and put her hand on my arm. I then reached over and put my hand on hers and held it there the whole ride home. We played with eachothers fingers. But later that night when I wanted to sleep in the same bed as her, she was very adamant that we could not sleep together, one of us had to sleep on the couch. Can anyone tell me what might be happening? Am imagining that she likes me? Is she afraid? Am I being cold? I should also mention that I leave my contract in about 2 months and fly to another country for a year after that so I won't be around for a year. But even still, I'm not sure what us going on in her head. Anyone who's been in this position or hers, can you help?! Thank you!
