Lesbian dating intimidation and the crazy labels.

Having only discovered my lesbian-ness about 3 months ago, I'm not ready to date yet (although God knows it's constantly in my mind), but I'm noticing that I "check out" the ladies all the time, and I find that I'm really only attracted to more masculine types (i.e. not really feminine women like myself).

One thing I find crazy are all the labels describing people's "types"...butch, femme, boi, soft butch, chapstick lesbian, lipstick lesbian, stud, stem....seriously ladies, WTF?!
Seriously guys, the labels are out of control!

I mistakenly thought the homosexual world would be somehow less inclined to feel the need to pigeon-hole everyone by "types" and stereotypes. What I'm finding super interesting (and not in a good way) is that even misogyny exists among the more masculine lesbians...seriously, who knew!?

When a friend asked me what type of person I'm attracted to, honestly, I didn't even know how to describe her anymore with all the confusion with the labels.

So here's my question to anyone with an opinion/experience on the matter:
(1) Do masculine lesbians share the traits of heterosexual men with respect to gender roles? i.e. Would they find it off-putting if a girl asked them out, etc.
(2) Are most lesbians above all this labeling nonsense, and thus can just be themselves, or am I going to be subjected some kinds of games/rules in lesbian dating which I honestly wouldn't know about and really don't want to deal with?

I guess I'm just scared and intimidated about the lesbian dating scene and would like to hear the truth about how it really is these days.

Thanks guys.

 

Butch lesbians (the very masculine lesbians) can act like straight men, but not every lesbian is going to fit in any of these labels or even worry about it. That's what I heard somewhere. By the way, I've met some lesbians before andthey usually don't care so much about what type of lesbian they are. They just act like themselves and migh or might not identify themselves as butch, femme, boi, etc. Bisexual women (like me) rarely care about it, by the way.

 

Nah, who cares about the labels... Some identify themselves with those labels, but there are no specific "rules". Focus on the person you like and not on the label. Some people are old-fashioned and they like more traditional roles, some are not, and it doesn't have to do with their masculinity/femininity. There's no recipe, use your intuition.

 

I tend to keep away from the women who do follow the labels and the stereotypical behaviour (change all that to past tense since I'm married now lol). I've been given the "rules" before by exes.... she got told to beat it pretty fast. Like me for me, or I aint wasting my time.

My wife asked me if I had any beliefs about the rules. I said no. She said "thank f***".

Look for a women who matches your values, and always be yourself