I've talked a lot about this in previous posts and I've pretty much decided that I'm going to tell my best friend that I have feelings for her. Of course I'd be happy if she reciprocates those feelings, but I don't expect anything back from her in terms of a relationship or anything along those lines. I want her to tell her because I think it's important that she know that they're are people who like her for who she is, who care about her and I also want to tell her because I don't want there to be any secrets between us. I've been thinking about how I want to tell her and what I would want to say. And every time my dilemma always comes back to 'do I want to tell her this in person?'. Obviously it'd be the 'ideal' way I guess? I'd be able to gauge her reaction, react to whatever she may say or ask. But it all comes down to whether I have the courage to be there to physically witness her reaction. Am I being chicken if I tell her my feelings in a letter? I think with a letter I'd really be able to get down what I want to say without being flooded with outside factors like the environment where I might tell her, her reaction, nervousness of telling her, etc. but I feel like it's a cop-out if I do that.
Honestly, if I wrote a letter I think I would ask her to read it when she's alone, that's how scared I am of her reaction, even though I think it's the right thing to do in my case. The logical part of me knows that telling her in person is the 'right' way to do it, but I'm so scared of losing her as a friend, I don't think I'm ready to have that conversation without breaking down. But either way, is writing a letter not 'cheating' in some way? Sure, a letter gives me the chance to get all my thoughts in order, to make sure I've said what I want to say. But is it not taking away from the true impact of my feelings, from seeing her reaction, from having those raw emotions?
There's no right or wrong way as such. I only suggest a letter if you don't think you can do it in person. Either way I wish you luck and admire your bravery.
Hey jjprentiss, HOW you tell her isn't important. There isn't really a right or wrong way. So, writing her a letter is totally fine if that the most comfortable way for you to tell her about your feelings for her. I would ask you consider, though, that if you are not comfortable enough to tell her about your feelings for her face-to-face, whether you really are comfortable with telling her at all at this point in time? Just some thoughts.
I have considered that actually. The conclusion I've come to is that I'm ready to tell her about my feelings but I'm still somewhat scared of her reaction, but I think that's something I'll always be scared of until it happens, you know. Both myself and her are not overly confrontational people. Even though I am completely comfortable when I'm around her, I feel like a letter would be more comfortable mostly for me but also possibly for her.
