I fell in love, came out and my family disowned me

You did the right thing. (*hug*)

Your mother might change her mind in 10 years when she realizes "Holy fuck i have a daughter and a grandson that are scared of me because i have been such a total bitch". Until then, im glad you have a loving partner and beautiful son to call Family.

I know it must suck, but you are quite lucky to have the family you do I wish you all the best and that one day your mother wakes up to smell the coffee. Until then you will be fine im thinking, you seem like a very strong lady. Props to you.

 

(*hug*)

You're doing the right thing. Family is as family does, and those people you're related to by blood aren't doing anything positive for you. They're correct on one point - they've lost out on having the grandchild in their life. But they've lost that grandchild not because of anything you have done, but because of everything they have done.

You've got a life to lead, and a child to raise. They say the best revenge is a life well-lived. So go kick ass.

Lex

 

I am so sorry to hear of your family's hostility. Is there maybe an extended family member that is/may be supportive? That could at least give you some small link to your family, and so if the time ever comes that your immediate family turns around, they could be a go-between.

But on a positive note, I'm happy that you've found such an awesome partner and second mom for your son.

 

Reading your story made me cry. I'm so sorry what has happened with you and your family. You've done the right thing and I cant imagine how hard its been. Keep strong.xxx

 

:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

Good for you! A wise person once told me that family is what you make it.

And I whole-heartedly agree.

Sharing genetic material and possibly a last name with a group of people is NOT sufficient to make a family. Love, the willingness to help each other in times of need, shared experiences, stepping in to take care of each other-THOSE are the things that make family.

That said, if the people with whom you share genetic material are working to destroy the family that you've made (partner and son) instead of loving you, then they're not your family. You were absolutely right to file for the restraining order. Hopefully your birth mother will come around and eventually realize that you're her child and treat you right, but that task is and has to be on her.

(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

Geez. I'm sorry your family(especially your mom) reacted in such a negative way.
I know it must hurt,but you DO have a family. Your son & your gf. and ,at this point,they need to come first.
You probably already know this but,your mom cannot take your son. That's just an empty threat to manipulate you. And...it's a horrible thing to do. I'm glad you're not subjecting your son or yourself to all her threats. What was said to your son was inexcusable and getting a restraining order was a very good idea.
Again,I'm sorry you're going through this. Take care and just know that the family you have NOW is all the family you need. All the best to all three of you.

 

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Being gay for attention? Wow. Does she even know the pain we go through? Why would we want attention? That's just low.

I wish you the best of luck in the future and don't worry- your son will be just fine

 

Hi there. I'm really sorry to hear about what you've had to go through. Raising a child isn't easy, and doing it with such toxic people around is even more difficult. Breaking those ties was the right thing to do.

I think having a full and interesting life as a parent makes for a good parent, and opens up a world of opportunities for the child. They're learning through your example that it's good to meet people, contribute to the community, and help others. Those are far better lessons than the ones that your mother is trying to teach him.

So then it's a matter of developing an adopted family - with friends or church members. Somewhere that you can find a sense of 'community'. I know Toronto has a fairly large LGBT Family network - so perhaps getting involved in something like that would be helpful too.

Good luck. We're all rooting for you.

 

You are doing the right thing.

If she sends you something in the mail send it back.
You need to stop her venom from poisoning your life and your son's life.

It is not your mother's place to judge you.

 

I'm sorry your family and especially your mother reacted that way. You are doing the right thing staying away from them. These people would be extremly toxic for you and your son.
I understand that it is not easy for you being cut of from your family and not being accepted for who you are, but in any case it is their fault, not yours. Everyone is responsible for his own happiness, it's too bad they can't be happy with the daughter and sister they have, but you don't have to blame yourself for that.
They will regret it, or not, but that's not up to you.
What is up to you is to live your life the best way for yourself, your son and your partner. You are lucky to have them, and they are just as much lucky to have you. You will also be able to create new bonds with other people and you'll discover that sometimes, the family we have chosen is as much if not more important than a blood related family.
I wish you all the happiness in the world, Eleanor

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your family. People really suck sometimes... and it sucks that those crappy people are your family. Hopefully they'll come around eventually, but if they don't, you have your son. I think it's beautiful that your son can see your love for him and your partner-- the innocent wisdom of a child. As crappy as it is to lose your family, he really is your family and he supports you. Keep doing the right thing, the world will catch up eventually. Hopefully you're family will come with it.

 

Tell her she was a horrible mother, that'll get to her...

But seriously, you did the right thing. Shitty as it was, it needed to be done given her actions. It sucks having to get jealous of people who are close with their parents, but realize everyone gets jealous of people for various reasons, relationships included. You never know how many people with great parents may be jealous of your (hopefully) healthy and thriving relationship with your girlfriend/partner, jealous you have someone to go home to and they may not...

 

Your mother seems to be a very disturbed woman. You did the right thing by filing a restraining order . Don't even answer the phone if she calls (or call the police due to the breach in restraining order).

 

Dont be jealous, for all you know your son is the one talking about how wonderful his parents are.

 

I know how that boy feels in ways.

I have a nan. she MUST have a mental disorder.
she's split up our family soo much, and calls to stur things up as she's an attention seeker.
and I felt really uncomfortable near her.

all I can say, is if they knew, I'd be receiving the same treatment. especially as they're connected to the IRA, and is proud of it


I hope everything's ok now (*hug*)
lets hope they realise how badly they've reacted :dry:

 

i cant say i know what your going thought but i hope you know you are doing the right thing its hard to put your blood family on the back of you mind but for now this need to be about you and your son and what good for you two i hope and pray they will one day come around. good luck with eveything and know you have a big family who love you here

 

Hey there,

I'm in a similar situation. I cam out to my family 6 years ago after meeting what I thought was my ideal man. Anyway, to cut a long story short i've not heard a thing from my family apart from the odd abusive phone call. I've been banned from weddings, funerals the lot.

I think I manage to get through by telling myself that i'm not the one with the problem. I'm a decent person who live a good and honest life. After all, I didn't choose to be gay.

Friends are always on at me to build bridges because they fear i'll end up a basket case if any of us dies before a reconciliation. However, as mentioned in an earlier post, there's more to family than DNA.

Not sure if this will help, but just wanted to let you know that you're not the only person in this situation.

All the very best to you.

D