Losing my family...not allowed to go home.

Thats horrible.

I think that a real let down of internet forums, such as this one, is the inability to transmit human contact because I would really like to give you a hug.

You're a beautiful human being. Never forget that fact. I hope your family snaps out of it and realises that too.

 

So sorry to hear. *HUGS* I don't know what to say other than I feel really sad for you, and I can't imagine how hard that must be. It is a big adjustment for your parents to make, and maybe they are just taking some time. I hope that they come to their senses eventually. I know that a lot of people take a long time to deal with it.

In the mean time, remember that you haven't done anything wrong, and you're not a bad person. It's a really hard thing to go through, but things will sort themselves out.

 

The thing about those specific human beings called "mothers" is that they will forgive for their mistakes and will love their kids no matter what. She is just going through the 5 stages of grief because she thinks she "lost" her little innocent boy to the sharp claws of the California Gay Agenda.

You might want to send her a letter telling her that you're sorry for hanging up on her and if she ever wants to call and say hi, or if she has a question, or even if she just wants to stay on the phone and not say a word with you, that your line is open. Try to show her that you're still her same son, the same guy she used to yell at all the time when you were a kid. Show her, with your attitude, that being gay is just like being straight, but more fabulous.

I know it hurts. It hurts like a big ass bitch shoving salt and pepper to an open wound. But it gets better. Eventually everyone who says "Fags are disgusting" will say "They are alright". You mom and the rest of your family might take a while for them to realize this, but they will do so eventually. And you being available to talk might (and most probably will) speed things up.

In the worst of the cases, you know that you're not alone. Even though you might feel that way when you're curled up in your bed.... but there are hundreds of people going through that right now. And that's sad. But the good thing is that there are thousands.... millions of people that love you and accept you the way you are. Talk to us when you feel the need to, whether is for advice or for celebration. <3 take care!!

 

Oh gosh....I am sooo sorry. I cannot believe people still act like this in this day and age. Did you give your mom PFLAG materials or any reading material when you came out? If she would talk to another mother, I would be happy to talk to her either by e-mail or phone. Just PM me and I will help in any way I can. Big hugs! Nobody should have to go through the holidays alone.

 

(&&&)

You need that. We're here for you and we'll be the family you're parents aren't being. I know it's not enough probably, but know we'll be here for you whenever you need us I'm sorry though that your parents are being such twats...I have a feeling I may know exactly what you're going through soon enough...I believe I'm telling my parents for the second time next week and I already know she will take it poorly after the first time I told her....

But yeah, we're here for you my friend, don't think we aren't okay We all love you.

 

There is nothing much I can do to help you unfortunatly. I can't believe your parents can do such a thing. Please keep in mind there is nothing wrong with you. If anyone is is doing something wrong, it's them.
Many many (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Cécile

 

**hugs**

 

**HUGS** Im sorry your mom reacted like that. Hopefully she will come round to the idea soon. Maybe you could call her back, otherwise she might feel weird about contacting you in the future becuase of the way things ended up this time. She might feel like you dont want to hear from her. I know your upset now, but think about it, you have had a long time to get used to the idea that you're gay and now she needs time too.

In the meantime, get up and out of bed and make your own plans for the holidays. If your mom isnt happy with you, thats her problem, not yours.

I had an argument with my mom this morning and the only thing that stopped me from tearing a strip off her was remembering this quote: "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." That always cheers me up.

Just remember that you are FABULOUS!! And we're here for you when you need to talk.

 

Don't hate yourself, and don't regret coming out. Your parents are douchebags. You said you don't have many friends...see if you can work on that. It sounds like you're gonna have to make your own family.

What your mother said/did would be unforgivable in my book and I would never speak to her again, even if she apologized and groveled until she was blue in the face. There's no excuse for that kind of nastiness and you shouldn't take any of it to heart for a fraction of a second. Hang in there.

 

I, even though younger than you, feel maybe you should show her that you won't LET her give up on you, and that you won't take no for an answer. Of course having other people in your area help you out is a really great thing to do, but I also think you play a big role in what your mother will think.

 

(&&&)sorry to hear of your parental situation...can you spend thanksgiving at a friends house?(&&&)

 

words can't express what I'm feeling towards you at this minute and time. Shock and Awe are probably the best words. First off Awe that well you came out to your parents and, even though they took it badly, you haven't given in or backed down, don't. A great man once said "live well, it is the best revenge." and that is what you must do. Don't let this get to you, don't feel like shit because your not, don't feel weak because that is a paradox and always ALWAYS remember who you are. Second, Shock. I mean, not being allowed home at the holidays? SERIOUSLY? I'm sorry and I don't mean to be offensive if that's what you could perceive this as but that is simply downright unbelievably brutally cruelly evil. Stay strong buddy, your gonna make through this, just keep eating and surround yourself with friends.

 

So sorry that you have to go through that.

You are an incredibly strong person for coming out. What is happening right now is not your fault at all and you only have your parents to blame. Hang in there that things will get better.

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

 

I'm sorry to hear that. I find it disgusting that there are still people out there in this day and age that are so closed minded. Especially towards their own children. I don't know how your relationship with your parents was to begin with, but I can tell you at some point, they will regret reacting this way. It may take a while, but it will bother them that they have a son out there that they SHOULD be proud of. I know it's difficult, but I think you should take this opportunity to go out and meet people. And wait for your parents to come to you. And make it very clear to them when they do, that this is how you are and they need to accept that. And don't hate yourself. I don't think there's a person in this world who's parents 100% agree with everything they do. It's one of those unfair and cruel facts of life. I hope things work out for you. Keep Your chin up.
*Hugs*

 

*hugs* Do not let people get you down. Keep calling your parents, write letters or do whatever it takes to keep the line of communication open. Parents can be tricky and you ARE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!! I always repeat this to myself "God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I know its corny but it brings comfort to me in difficult times because I know I can't change my sexual orientation but I can change people's attitudes about sexual orientation.

 

I agree with chip here

 

Its a really disheartening story to hear, but you have to remain positive. Be proud of who you are in spite what your parents think. The EC members above are right, your mother probably will come around, it just takes time. I recommend that you try sending her an e-mail that tells her how you feel. Tell her what you have been going through, sometimes the intimacy of a phone call or even a face to face conversation cannot allow you to fully express your emotions to another person because various tensions may arise between the two of you that may make it difficult to truly convey your thoughts. Sometimes these things need time to settle in. Remember that for the very same reasons that many of us take so long to except being gay ourselves are why it may be so hard for your mother to except you being gay.

You cannot forgive your mother for her actions, but at the end of the day she is your mother, and as odd as it may seem the anger she expresses towards you maybe a way of showing that she still cares, she just does not understand. You should try to make her understand. I really wish you luck, and I send you an air hug (*hug*)

 

I disagree that the OP should fall all over himself trying to get his mother to accept him. Blood is *not* thicker than water. What she has done is simply unacceptable and it's not up to him to try to make it right. That's being codependent. She's the one with the problem, she's the parent...it's up to her to provide emotional support to her child, not the other way around.