I am really in a tough spot. I mean, my entire family isn't really divided but my step-brother and my step-dad are extremely divided. This thread will be long, and probably confusing, but I'd really like some advice. Basically, my step-brother (James) is accusing my step-dad of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. While my step-dad is saying he's making it all up, and has completely cut off all connections between him and his son. He's convinced my mom that he is lying, and they both tried to convince me but my mom doesn't know the whole story (I know that because she told me she doesn't) and my step-dad refuses to tell anyone. So, James and I were talking on Facebook today and I asked him why him and his father are so distant and he told me everything. This is what he said, "My father and I are so distant because when I was young my mother had to give me up and my father gained custody. when i was 12 he would kick me in the sides whenever i did anything he didn't like and he would punch me. One time i broke a glass and pushed me on the floor and started kicking me. I tried to block the kick but he kicked my hand and broke it. I still have pains in it to this day. but when I got a little older him and his buddy vince who is now a registered sex offender took turns molesting me. i dont know why as i was just 14. i held it in all this time and i finally told my grandmother about it. we both confronted him and he basically called both of us liars and that we were trying to steal his money. his money..he has no money. anyways, after that he started to seclude himself from me. he doesn't talk to the rest of his family because he thinks i told them all. then he told your mom about it without even telling my side and now she is against me. this is why we are so far apart now. i just want an explaination why and an apology. at least we'd be able to fix something, but he thinks I am trying to sabotage him or something." I don't understand why he'd lie about that, he gets nothing to gain. That is why I think he is telling the truth. I think my step-dad is so afraid of revealing his past that he is completely lying about it to everyone. Then I told James that he never liked me, ever since he found out I was gay he started avoiding me, and down-right hating me. I don't know why. But now I think it's because I remind him of what he did to James. It's just so sad. I have no idea what to do now. Can anyone give me some advice on what to do? My brother and my mom are both on my step-dad's side. I am just so split right now!
I'd say be supportive of your step-brother personally, but I don't think it's a good idea to take sides when it comes to things like that. If your step-father or mother try to bring it up, just wave it away and say "I'm not getting involved in that". Lex
I'd be supportive of your step-brother, to be honest, based on what you've said. I'm with you - I can't see where he'd have anything to gain by lying about something as humiliating as being raped.
Well, what I do is I just say I agree with whatever they say, because if I say I don't want to get involved they won't take the hint that I don't want to get involved and will continue telling me. So, to shut them up I just agree. But I understand what you mean. Exactly! I am supportive of him. But I don't know how I can't take sides. Gah! This is so confusing. I wish I could just forget it all >_<
I agree with everyone that says that your step-brother needs your support. I'd let go of everything else because you can't change anything that is happened or how people are feeling about it now. Think about what you can do NOW to make things better and let go of the past.
