Ok so I am still hot over this issue but I want an outside perspective. I just found out my little brother who is living on his own is abusing his girlfriend. He not only hits her but threatens her family when she says she is leaving him. He was raised better then that and I cannot believe he would act like that but it was our cousin who told us. He said he had to body slam my brother to stop a fight between them recently. Now my mother is highly upset as she was abused by my little brothers father and so was I and the rest of the kids. I was in fact sexually abused by his father on top of the physical crap. I am worried that my mother might confront him and he will get foolish. Now I know my response to that would land me in a bad spot so I want to handle this asap before mom gets involved. I dont know if I want to put him in jail, beat the sense into him, or talk to him. He is my kid brother and was raised better then this and I love him to death but he doing something I didnt think possible from him. I cant believe having heard the stories of what we went through he would act like this. He was an tiny baby when we went into foster care because of his father and still he would act like this? Our mother and step father taught him better.....I am pissed, sad and just stunned all at the same time. I need outside input because this has my head spinning.
You were all abused by your father, and now your brother is in turn abusing his girlfriend. You want to help, which is great, but why would you think you could "beat some sense into him"? Hasn't there been enough of that? You can certainly try talking to him, but I'm guessing he's not the sort of person who would respond to a simple talking-to, either. If there's heavy amounts of physical and emotional abuse going on, I'd say it's doubtful that this is a relationship that can be fixed easily. Perhaps the smart move is to focus on the girlfriend, and getting her away from your brother. Permanently. At that point, maybe you can help him see he needs help. Lex
The beating sense into him was not meant to suggest that I by any means thought further violence could make him see how wrong he is. However his actions make me sick. I have a deep loathing for any man that could lay hands on a women, let alone the fact that its my little brother after all he knows our family went through even though he was to little to know any of it himself. My statement was just out of anger that he sink to such a scummy level.
Understood. But I think the smart move is to remove the girlfriend from the equation first. Once she's out of harm's way, you can work on trying to make him understand where his issues lay. Lex
Thanks for the advice. I agree with the idea of removing his girlfriend but that part is going to be hard. Aside from the fact that she is likely afraid of him she is also from a broken home and I am not sure she has family that is safe to stay with or anyway to support herself on her own. On top of that both her and my brother are persona non grata with my family for things in the past that I am not fully privy to. Didnt mean to sound like I wanted to beat the tar out of him btw I am just so mad that he could do this. It was more a figure of speech then anything.
If she doesn't have friends or family she can go to, she could probably spend some time in a women's shelter while she gets her life back together again. They aren't great places, but they're better than being with an abuser.
I want to slap my self as my mother used to work as a women's advocate for one as well as I myself volunteered at the same place. I think I know more or less what to do but the problem is going to be getting her to go along with it. If there is one thing I know its that she has to want help before this will work. Thanks guys sorry my head was just so twisted over this whole thing I was not thinking straight.
