I'm looking for some advice, maybe from a parent who has been on the other side of my situation, or maybe from someone that has been in my situation. I'm 26, my parents are divorced. I came out to my mom's side of the family during college. They have been very accepting. My dad's side of the family is a different story. They are from a small small town in southern Illinois. They are simple minded people and don't adjust to change very well. I hate to bring religion into it, but they are also Southern Baptist. I have finally found the person I would like to spend my life with. This Thanksgiving was the first time I actually brought a boyfriend home (to my mom's) for the holidays. Everything went great! Now comes Christmas.... My partner and I are of course going to my moms. My dad and that side of the family want to see me too (they live 600 miles away). I want to visit with them just as much as they want to visit with me. The problem is, is that I don't want to go without my partner. He is such a big part of my life. I would love to be able to share that part of me with them. But, I am truly terrified that they will not understand and they will disown me. I've told them that I wouldn't be coming for Christmas and that I would come up after the first of the year. But, I'm still going to want my partner to be a part of that. If anyone has any advice or knows of any place where I could seek advice on this, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you! Does anyone have any suggestions?
First off, welcome to EC! Just saw your thread, but hopefully it isn't too late to reply. Its a tough situation and there isn't a simple, clean answer, but the best thing to do is to have a very honest conversation with your dad about it all. Let him know how you feel about feeling like you have to choose between your boyfriend and your family, and that you would love for both parties to be part of your life. Let him know just how much this is affecting you. After that, its all up to your dad and his family to choose if they want you to be part of the holidays or not. Have you also tried talking to your mom about it all? While they might be divorced, you mom might know a way to get to your dad and help him understand the situation a little bit more.
