I came out in a letter to my mom and dad a few days ago and my mom was really supportive (after some initial miscommunications). She didn't want to share it with my dad though because he was renegotiating his contract the next day and he needed to be really focused. I totally understand. I expected it to be a bit shocking to my parents, and I thought it was fair and important to wait. Fast forward a few days: It didn't go well and my Dad had to take a 40% pay cut (we sort of knew this was coming since his company reorganized and they no longer give a shit about their employees.). It's not the end of the world, especially since my brother graduate college this December, but its pretty serious especially since my mom has not been able to find a full time job in three years. My dad is 67 and at his age it is going to be difficult to find another job. My mom thinks that maybe we should wait a bit longer to tell him. She wants me to make the ultimate decision since it is mine to make. On one hand, I agree. I care deeply about my dad and I worry about him a lot. My dad is not a spring chicken, he is under a huge amount of stress, he needs to focus, and I can't predict his reaction. Even though I think he will take it fairly well, I don't want to add anything to his momentous burden right now since money has always been a stressful issue in my family. On the other hand, I feel very adamant, that when my dad hears about it, I want him to hear it from me (or my mom). I think I owe it to him to give him the full story. I also don't want him to be caught off guard by some else saying, "oh, that is crazy that your son is gay," and him having to reply, "oh? he is?" This then prevents me from telling other people because the more people I tell the more likely he is find out accidentally. I am not sure what the ethical choice is here. I would appreciate any advice. P.S. Join a Union! Reinstate Glass-Steagal! Overturn Citizens United!
I think its a tough decision and one to perhaps which there is no 100% right answer, I think it is nice that you are being caring and considerate towards your Father. My advice (although others may have some better) would be to perhaps wait a short while just whilst the shock of the pay cut and everything settle down, Christmas will be over and then tell him. I wouldnt use his age as a reason not to tell him, I mean he isnt going to get younger and as you say you think he will be supportive. I say just let this initial shock and panic subside and then go for it, especially if you think he might otherwise hear it from somewhere else.
I have a similar situation with my family and specifically with my father. He's turning 65 and I'll be 22 next April. He too has had to take pay cuts and has been under great amounts of stress. On top of it all, of course, I'm not out to him. So similar circumstances; I feel for you. I may not be the best person for advice, but perhaps waiting until the holidays have passed and a little time for things to settle then go for it. I don't believe that there is a right time for coming out to someone, let alone a father, it's just something you got to get off your chest, hope for the best and move from there. Hope this helped, good luck.:icon_bigg
