I have a crush on a friend (yes, yet another one of these threads!) and I'm not exactly sure what to do about it. On the one hand, having a relationship with her really isn't feasible. I already told her that I like her, but she said that she doesn't want any relationships in college. I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready for one, either. And if nothing else, we're roommates until the end of semester, so if things didn't work out... On the other hand, I can't stop thinking about her. All I want to do is be with her, and when I'm not it feels like my heart is going to rip itself out of my chest. I can't go more than a couple days without crying. Try as I might, I just can't get it to calm down. It doesn't help that I'm not sure how she feels about me. We're definitely friends, but I'm not sure what kind of friends. She spends a lot less time with me than she does with her other friends; however, she also tells me much more personal things than she does them. One of them [her other friends] is also much more extraverted and talkative than either of us are, and when I hang out with them he's usually the one starting and maintaining the conversations. Right now my plan is to just try to find ways to hang out with her more. The biggest problem is, my emotions are threatening to cause some serious problems. I have another round of tests coming up over the next couple weeks, and last time my emotions sapped me of all of my will to study, significantly hurting my grades. Whenever my will to do work starts to return, they come back and squash it again. Any advice? I've been thinking about talking to her about this again, but I don't know if that would be pushing it a bit too far.
Well I'm new to this but I'll see what I can do here. In a way I know how you feel. First give me some more information about this friend of yours. Has she told you exactly how she feels about liking the same sex? If you have tried making advances toward since you told her you liked her how has she responded?
She's gay and seems to be comfortable with it. She mentioned something to me about having a bad relationship in high school, but that's about it. I haven't really made any advances at all, actually. When I told her it was more, "I have a crush on you but recognize that a relationship would be a bad idea." I did ask her to go to a concert with me, but that was in response to her offering to take me to a movie but then deciding that there weren't any good movies in town. Since then the closest I've come is when I really started to freak out because I thought she was pushing me away. I talked to her about that, and she reassured me that she did still want to be friends. She did state that she just wanted everything to return to how it was before, which is why I'm afraid to bring it up again.
Ok you're now officially in the same boat as me so welcome to my club lol. Now she wants everything to return to the way it was before? Well from what you said how you feel about her, that's not gonna happen. If you feel like you can tell her that now then go ahead but that is something she needs to know. You said she had a bad relationship? Well show her that you can be a lot better girlfriend than that other girl. Since I'm not a girl, my advice is limited in that area though I do suggest doing small things for her and work your way up. Don't rush it though as this will take time. Hanging out with her more is definitely a good idea also as it gives you a chance to up your game a notch.
I've been in a similar boat: Try to spend friendly time with her. My major crush's life temporarily fell apart because my home was haven to her and I got booted out of my home, and she had nowhere to go. Even though it was not my choice to be removed from the sitch, it still shows that it's not the best idea. Just invite her out places, be friendly and try to show that you desire to have a good, properly platonic friendship with her again (even though that's almost the opposite of what you want). Just take baby-steps, small things make a big impression.
Thanks for responding. That's pretty much what my plan was, but it helps to hear it from other people.
