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My Family Pisses Me Off Sometimes...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by secretguyX, May 18, 2012.

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  1. secretguyX

    secretguyX
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    So I'm sure you've all heard about Obama's 'support of gay marriage' campaign. Well whenever my grandma and mom hear something on tv about it, they're like 'that's crap, he's just doing it to get more votes, he doesn't actually support it'. And yes, they very much could be right. That's not my point. My grandma has said that he's a jerk for supporting it. My grandma doesn't exactly like 'gay people'. My mom isn't their biggest fan either. They both deal with my cousin being gay, mostly because his parents treated him like shit because of it. They've stood up for him before, but only because they felt bad for him.

    Then I heard my mom say (they just got back from my softball game), "Well we saw 'teammates mom' today there, and her daughter is openly gay at the high school. (I'm guessing they're referring to her older daughter, who I used to know and had absolutely no idea she was gay). She always kisses their girlfriend in public. (She hates seeing gay couples kiss).

    It honestly just really hurts to hear this. And that my brother, who thinks that I'm gay, just listens the same as me, and doesn't say anything to them.
     
    #1 secretguyX, May 18, 2012
  2. Ianthe

    Ianthe
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    Really? I thought he always really supported marriage equality, but never said so before for political reasons. Now that the country is in favor of it, he can say what he really thinks.

    (This is more sensible than that he is doing it to get votes, because I think it's unlikely to convince anyone to vote for him that wasn't already. Rather, it will no longer COST him votes.)

    But actually, the thought process he reports for the shift in his position is the same thought process that I have seen change the minds and hearts of countless straight people who become our allies. They become our supporters by knowing us as people. So, I am actually inclined to think that the process is genuine, although it may be somewhat displaced in time.

    I think it's really unlikely that he would have said the specific things he has said, if he did not actually believe it. This position is actually more consistent than his previous one of supporting civil unions but not marriage.


    I'm sorry you have to hear your mom and grandma talk like that. Try to keep in mind that they have no reason to think that you will take it personally, and they aren't aiming at you.

    Since your cousin is gay, you could use that as a foundation for your support for gay rights. For example, when they say things like this, you could say that you think it's great that Obama is supporting marriage equality--you hope that your cousin will be able to have the same rights and privileges as anyone else.

    It will make a big difference in how you feel about it if you don't just let people say things like that. If you aren't ready to really come out, you can at least come out as an ally.
     
    #2 Ianthe, May 18, 2012
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