Have a strong crush on best friend but shes straight. :(

The early-to-mid teen years are known for how much teenagers experiment and explore their sexuality. When I was your age, I had two or three friends who were constantly being touchy-feely. As in grabbing my ass, hugging me, rubbing my leg and dry humping. I had a major crush on one of them. (And still do, though he's not my friend anymore.)

When I was thirteen, I was at a sleepover with a load of guys and quite honestly, everyone spent the night dry humping each other and getting naked. But now, I'm gay and everyone else considers themselves straight. And believe me, no-one talks about this at all. It's like it never happened.

Throughout the teens, sexuality is really fluid and people are keen to experiment and explore. But a large percentage of these people end up marrying people of the opposite gender. It's just how it goes. I'm not sure if you've heard of the Kinsey scale, but it was developed by a guy called Alfred Kinsey, and he put the point out there that there's no such thing as dead-on sexuality i.e. you're not 100% gay, 100% straight or perfectly bisexual, but any combination of either. A lot of people might be predominantly straight and just a little bit gay, and I think that's where all this kind of experimenting comes in. But often they're isolated incidents and these people go on to live their lives as straight people.

Which sucks! It absolutely sucks! But unfortunately, I think this is probably what happened with your friend. And it is the worst feeling in the world. She could be bisexual — at least we know she's definitely not 100% straight — but you're young yet and I would probably take a strong bet that she's maybe 90% straight and 10% gay. Which isn't enough to have a relationship with her or anything like that.

You've got a number of problems in that you're dealing with the crush now. Which isn't easy at all. But you need to recognise that the chances are that your friend isn't gay or bisexual and that a relationship will most likely never happen. If she is gay or bisexual, it's up to her to come to you... she knows you're bisexual. So recognising that it can't happen is the first step. Then you should occupy yourself with other things and try to think about other people. There are loads of good tips on the internet on how to get over crushes. Maybe take up a hobby where you don't have to spend as much time with her. Maybe join an LGBT youth group where you can meet other bi people. Maybe try and crush on a guy you like. There are loads of things.

But the one thing you have to do is stop thinking about her and move on, remembering that it can't happen, and that if she is actually bi and ever realises it, you will most likely be the first person she tells. But that may never happen and you just have to put it out of your head. It's a hard thing to do, I know.

With regards to telling everyone in your school... this whole 'coming out' thing is something we see hear about in the media and on the internet. Your close friends know, and I presume you will want to tell your family. But other than that, most people don't need to know this kind of thing, because after all, it's really just one part of you and it isn't everything that you are! I mean you probably don't feel the need to broadcast your music tastes to everyone! (That's quite different, I know, but you get the picture!) So what I do is just be myself. I'm not pretending to be anyone else. If someone asks, yeah I tell them (unless I think they're going to mock me or they're someone I really don't like), but other than that I don't feel the need to tell everyone.

So if you don't want to tell everyone else, then I don't see why on Earth you would have to!

 

And it's an amazing and warm feeling to know that I've been helpful. Really, it is. Thanks for such a nice thank you message.

Believe me, it's really challenging to try to forget your feelings for her. In fact, you probably never will be able to do it fully. It will probably always be there in some small amount, even if you have "moved on".

It's great that you've started a hobby. That will be a huge help.

 

Are things normal between you and this girl now also has she recently questioned that u have feelings for her or has anyone suspected?