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Transcending the legacy of your family

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by tapsilog2012, Dec 23, 2012.

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  1. tapsilog2012

    tapsilog2012 Guest

    Like many people I am absolutely terrified of turning into my parents. They were extremely judgemental, isolated people with no friends who basically spent all their time being as strict as possible with us children because they were scared that the world would corrupt us. They were constantly paranoid of others' opinions and made us behave a certain way at all times to "save face".

    The thing is, I think Im turning into them. Because of my anxiety Ive isolated myself more and more. Im scared of turning into a judgemental, miserable narrow minded person too.

    My biggest fear is not accomplishing my dreams because of my negative thinking and tendency to isolate to avoid "infecting people with the incovenience of my presence" (yes I think this little of myself sometimes).

    How do I stop this? Or is it just my destiny?
     
    #1 tapsilog2012, Dec 23, 2012
  2. PinkTractor

    PinkTractor
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    I am struggling with the same questions. I have to say awareness is looking like one saving grace in the equation. The thing is a lot of the time when you look at the things about your parents that you don't want to emulate, the parents are utterly unaware there is a problem. Society as a whole is becoming more self-aware, in large part because of the internet, sites like this one, problem-solving television shows....
    For me, identifying the potential problem came first, I had to know what I was afraid of becoming (a hoarder, a control freak, avoidant, etc...) so I could learn more about what causes it and how it is treated. Then I found others in the same boat, and by really listening to their stories, I was able to built a frame in which my own story made more sense.
    Identify what your parents are that you don't want to become. Learn about that condition, and how mental health professionals view it, and deal with it. Find others in the same situation, support each other looking for solutions to not only the big picture but also day to day happenings that need sanity checks. Best wishes!
     
    #2 PinkTractor, Dec 23, 2012
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