My holidays with my so-called 'family' utterly destroyed me :(

Katelynn, I can't really offer any words of wisdom. I'm really sorry for what you are going through - I can't even begin to imagine what it is like for you and others going thorugh the same thing.

Just know that we're all here for you (*hug*)

 

I am so sorry Katelynn, :tears: Your experience sounds beyond dreadful and my heart goes out to you. I wish I could hug you from afar.
If you are able to be independent from family I would suggest cutting the chords that bind. It may be the only way they will realize the loss. You don't need to cut them completely. Email them, write if you wish and even a few calls. But I would stay out of their company if they can't accept you and expect you to be other than who you are.
Again I am so sorry dear. No one should have to be treated as you were and I would say you are owed many apologies.
Hugs (&&&)

 

Oh dear... (*hug*) I am so sorry that you had to go through all that. I know how it feels to be verbally abused. It's horrible and again, I am so sorry that you have to deal with that. You do not deserve it at all. Know that I am here for you and will help in any way I can. I know that may not mean much, but just thought I would let you know I'm here to talk to. I know that it is hard to think of having no family at all, but just protect yourself from them and be careful. Try not to be around them as much. You don't deserve to be treated that way. Nobody does. Best wishes. And just remember: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

 

I have no idea of the best way to help you other then saying that there are people in the world that care for you. I may be new to these forums but already I can see the love and caring here.

I hope I'm not being inappropriate in saying that your avatar shows that you are a beautiful young woman. You know who you are. We know who you are. Given time the rest of the world will learn who you are, even if they don't agree with it.

 

That sucks. I'm going through much of the same with my family at the moment. They claim to care, and to be trying, but all the effort that would really be required is to think about what comes out of their mouths, preferably before they say it. And though they probably do love you, there may come a time when they have to be judged by their actions rather than their intentions because of how hurtful they're being.

There's no easy fix to your situation, but if you give it time, you may be able to sort it out. You say the biggest impediment to you cutting them out is loneliness, so I suggest you try and find a life outside of your family. That way you'll have a support network if the time comes. I don't know what is going on in your area, but maybe a place to start would be at an LGBTQ center or something like it.

 

If you need anything--someone to talk to, help finding somewhere else to go, message me. I've watched my sister cut ties with her mother (for different reasons) and it doesn't matter what they've done to you, it still hurts like hell.

 

Wow.

Your family is a bunch of ... well, butt-wipes?

Seriously, I really feel for you, but try to remember that this is their flaw, not yours! You are a beautiful, unique, perfect individual who has the courage to be honest about who you are and what you feel. That makes you a strong individual, and if they cannot handle that, it is their loss, because they will lose their child this way.

You need to think about your life, how it will be. One day, you will be able to choose who is allowed to know you, to be in your life. You will be the one with the power. I don`t know how old you are, but since you still have much to do with your family, and probably live at home (?), then I would guess that you are still young. You deserve a happy and good life. Don`t let their negative attitude ruin that for you. Do you have good friends you can spend time with? Hobbies? Dreams? These are the things that deserve your attention and emotions. If you do not have the kind of friends you want right now, do not despair. Friends may not grow on trees, but most of us do find ourselves at times in life needing to make new friends, either because we outgrew our old ones (sometimes people grow apart) or we have moved, etc. It is always possible to get to know new, better people. So keep your chin up, keep your hopes up, and if they cannot love who you are, then love yourself even harder! Because for crying out loud, you deserve that somebody does!

I admire your courage, I really do. You should know that! Great people always have lesser people scoffing at them. In your case, it is the family. It is a shame, but you cannot change them. You can only choose how to see things, how to react to things, and what to think. So, try to stay positive, try to move on from what happened during Christmas. Try to heal. Write, sing, paint. Whatever makes you feel calm and happy. Do things you like. Focus on moving your life forwards. They can throw crap, but they cannot change you, unless you let them.

If you are as strong as you are brave, and we can acquire more strength if we need to, then there is nothing you cannot do!

*Big hug!*

 

That's awful. I really don't know what else can be said.
Is there an LGBT (particularly trans) group near you?

You're beautiful by the way, don't let them wear you down! Stay strong.

~Rae

 

Katelynn, I’m so sorry to hear that about your family. All I can say is that you are a very brave and beautiful young women. Though I can’t relate to your family situation and for that I’m sorry, I can however relate to your Sarnia situation. When I was at Lambton there were many of times when I felt alone and misunderstood, and the absence of any real LGBT presence at the college or town for that matter didn't help. Things for me got much better once I started utilizing the LGBT groups and resources in London. They never solved any of my problems but they did give me an emotional pick-me-up when needed.

I hope this helps, you’re a beautiful person and you deserve to be happy.