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My family doesn't want me to leave! :(

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sunnygirl, Jan 31, 2013.

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  1. sunnygirl

    sunnygirl
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    The story goes like this. I have never dated a girl until I met this butch girl at work. I still live with my parents. I am about to turn 23 soon. Months ago, I confessed that I am in love with this girl to my dad. Surprisingly, he had a pretty acceptable reaction where he said that it's okay. I knew that I wasn't able to get his approval but what he did was just to not interfere. A couple of days ago, I wrote him a letter to tell him about everything that includes my plans to leave our home soon - to live with the love of my life. My family panicked and they are now trying their best to keep us away from each other. They want me to resign from work and pursue law. My dad said that leaving home for this person is non-negotiable and it is not right to be with a woman. The thing is, I love my baby so much! I would've wanted to settle everything nicely. But seems like every member of my family is exhausting all their energy to stop me from moving in with this person that I am in a relationship with. Just to add, we are the typical traditional asian family. Please advise. I want to act as mature as possible. My family is very close-minded. And also, it has already been two years since I started to have a relationship with this girl. :frowning2:
     
    #1 sunnygirl, Jan 31, 2013
  2. Jim1454

    Jim1454
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    You're an adult. Nobody can force you to live anywhere you don't want to.

    I know that culture plays a huge part in this - even if I don't have any experience with that myself. (I have grown up in North America where children move out and start their own lives and don't have the same kind of relationship with their parents that Asian families seem to have.)

    I know it seems exhausting, but you just need to ride it out.

    Set boundaries. Make it clear that you're not willing to talk about this - because it really isn't any of their business - and when they do bring it up, you're simply going to hang up the phone or leave the room. They'll have been warned. And then when they do bring it up - do just that. Get up and leave the room or hang up the phone.

    There's no need for you to be rude or disrespectful, but you do need to make it clear that you're an adult and you'll live your life the way you want.
     
    #2 Jim1454, Jan 31, 2013
  3. sunnygirl

    sunnygirl
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    Thank you for your reply! They brought up points about me regretting this in the future, and the reactions of other people towards me. The thing is, no matter what the risks and consequences are, they are too scared for me. I don't really care about other people. It's a great advice that I should just shut them out whenever they attempt to discuss this matter with me if the sole purpose of it is to change my mind. Thank you so much. This situation is pretty difficult and I sometimes envy other families who truly support and care for their kids who are in a situation same as mine. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 sunnygirl, Jan 31, 2013
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