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My best female friend said she had a crush on me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ommmmo, Feb 1, 2013.

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  1. ommmmo

    ommmmo
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi everyone, I happened to find this place in a Yahoo Q&A session when i was searching for "gay chatting room". This place seems to be around a lot of nice guys and i think some of you had the same situation as mine before. I'm from China, so please never mind about any of my grammer mistake.

    I realized I'm a gay since middle school. I also made my best friends in middle school. We really had a long story. And interesting thing is, including me there're three of us are homosextual. Two boys and one girl, though we don't know that at that time. They came out to us when we were at college but I didn't. Maybe because I was straight-acting and always played a brother-like role in this little loop, I don't have gut to confess the truth to them. But this afternoon, when I was working, one of my best friends, told me she had crush on me. This is what I don't want to hear the most. We are at the same city and I'm always good to her, but this is just how I treat my best friends. I can sense a little bit about how she felt about me, so I always try to involve some subjects to make she think I am kind of loner and don't want to trapped by a serious relationship. But since now she put it in such a straight way, I talked back with ambiguous answer because i really don't want to hurt her feeling and dignity.... In the end she told me she's quite sad but it's a lot better than to hold it inside. But I think she never thought about my feeling, she doesn't know how much I cherish our relationship. I don't even dare to log in the instant chatting tool because i'm afraid to have such topic with her again. Cupid really got a weird sense of humor.

    Really appriciate your patience.....
     
    #1 ommmmo, Feb 1, 2013
  2. TwoMethod

    TwoMethod
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    Wow, that is kind of awkward.

    But here's my question: why don't you just come out to her? You should tell her that you are gay. While she may find it a bit embarrassing that she had a crush on you and that you're gay, it is much, much worse for her to think that she has a crush on you and you simply do not like her in the same way.

    It seems like there was no issue when your two friends came out as gay. It's definitely hard to come out the first time, but I think that this is definitely the best course of action.

    Then you can explain to her how much you do cherish the relationship, and how if you were straight, you would want to go out with her (even if that's not entirely true). That gets rid of a lot of the embarrassment that she may feel when you tell her you are gay.

    Either way, it makes little sense not to come out to her given all the problems that this would seem to solve.
     
    #2 TwoMethod, Feb 1, 2013
  3. ommmmo

    ommmmo
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    Thanks so much, TwoMethod.... But I've already let her know that I don't feel the same way for her and how much I cherish our relationship. She said she needs some time to absorb it, but for me, I don't even think about to meet her anymore though I know it's impossible. Never thought it could be this awkward....
     
    #3 ommmmo, Feb 1, 2013
  4. TwoMethod

    TwoMethod
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    You're missing the point. Telling her you don't feel the same way is not the same as coming out to her. You need to tell her you're gay. That was the whole point of my message!
     
    #4 TwoMethod, Feb 2, 2013
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