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Any straight women on EC who are/were married to gay guys?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by SaleGayGuy, Feb 1, 2013.

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  1. SaleGayGuy

    SaleGayGuy
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    Location:
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    Some people
    Hi, at the age of 53 I have decided that I want to come out as gay to my wife of 25 years after realising I am gay only in the last few years following a series of life changing events.

    I have read many very helpful points of view from the man’s perspective but would like to hear any advice from the wife’s point of view. I know that it will have been devastating news but could it have been delivered in a more sympathetic way?

    Sale Gay Guy
     
    #1 SaleGayGuy, Feb 1, 2013
  2. Chrissouth53

    Chrissouth53
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    There are a few Yahoo groups for women married to gay/bi guys as well as groups geared towards mixed orientation marriages. You can look them up.
     
    #2 Chrissouth53, Feb 1, 2013
  3. mgh

    mgh
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    yes, it can be delivered in a sympathetic way. What did I get? a phone call....
    please dont do that. And now the gay husband has put tons of thought into how he is going to tell his friends (mostly the ones he has had crushes on). The wife deserves the thought and the dedication of telling her with love and dignity. Give yourself a whole day with her... and talk to her. Again, all I got was a phone call.... on THANKSGIVING DAY. Please dont do that to her. She deserves better. I am proud of you for coming here for help and advice.... I wish my gay husband would have done something like this before he called me on thanksgiving day. Put some thought into what you want to tell her. Let her know that despite your orientatioon, that she still means something to you and that the last years of her life were not a lie. Do whatever you can to let her know that you care. Dont just walk away and make her reach out to you for help. Dont turn your back on her. She will be devistated. i promis you that. But please talk to her, have a real conversation with her. Dont just give her a phone call. Please.
     
    #3 mgh, Feb 1, 2013
  4. SaleGayGuy

    SaleGayGuy
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    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi folks, thanks for the reply.

    Chrissouth53: Re the Yahoo groups I did come across several references that hinted they were more focused on the anger phase and were predominantly driven by religious groups.

    mgh : I have been compiling an information booklet ,all 160 pages of it, of clippings and advice from the internet that I propose at some stage handing to her to help her in understanding how I feel and how other wife’s/ girlfriends have coped or not as the case may be. I propose to make this document show examples of Mixed Orientation Marriages where they have worked and where they failed.

    Sale Gay Guy
     
    #4 SaleGayGuy, Feb 4, 2013
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