I have a little problem with my family.

First thing, welcome to EC, really great people here excited to help you in your process.

Now, as far as your family... I think that if they have already been so accepting of your gay older sibling, then they will probably be really understanding about you. While I understand your fear, and dont want to devalue it, I would also like to say that everyone feels that same fear. My mom and sister were practically ripping me out of the closet, and I was clinging on for dear life because I somehow thought they didnt know and that they would hate me. But my feeling is, if your brother is gay, and your parents have a good relationship is good with them, there are a lot of ways that parents can start to tell if their other children are gay or not as well. So even if they didnt know, which they might not, they might not also be that shocked.

If you never try to be vulnerabile, then you will never get what you really want. Its hard to make a leap of faith sometimes, into the "not knowing", but I think in this case, they are going to be really loving and supportive about it.

Other thing is, once you start the coming out process, each person you tell (especially when it comes to family) boosts your confidence like %1000! And there are people there for you that you havent even discovered yet, so dont convince yourself you are alone.

Much love

 

Well, you have to weigh out your options as to what you want. Putting your family, friends, and popularity with others over your own happiness will, for the most part, makes you miserable over time (trust me, I know this all too well). Coming out is a very scary experience for everyone. However, while there are possibilities that negative things might happen like losing friends, there are also possibilities of positive experiences as well. Even though I've lost some old friends who were close minded I've managed to make new ones in the GLBT community. I'm much happier that I can be myself with my new friends without fear of them having transphobia.

As for your family; if you have an older brother who is gay, chances are your parents have gone through a lot of the emotional grieving with him. You will most likely have a negative reaction from them at first, but it will subside over time. Most people act negatively towards someone coming out because they couldn't foresee it. They no longer feel that they know everything about you and that there are new things they need to learn. For some people they become scared and reject it; others will accept the new part of you that you are offering and still see you as the same person.

I advise that you talk to your brother about how you feel and how your parents reacted when he came out. He could have had a lot of the same experiences and feelings and give you advice on how to handle them. As for your friends, you have to decide if you want to continue to be their friends. They sound close-minded, so chances are they will not take you coming out well. I suggest looking into a GLBT group for some new friends. If you do decide to come out you want others who will support you, not tear you down. Good luck! ^_^